Existing'sTricky

My Latest Trip to the Hospital

2012-02-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

Monday morning my Dad took me to the ER due to massive swelling in the abdomen; I could barely walk or breath, LOTS of pain, massive swelling, felt like my organs were going to explode. They ran several tests and determined that my spleen and liver were massively swollen. My liquid monster issue had overrun my body again. I take diuretics at home, but apparently the dosage stopped working or getting through, I blew up again and overloaded my organs. Plus, I have been majorly fatigued these last few weeks; my iron levels had dropped below the danger level. They checked me in, set me up on an IV for diuretics, and then later a blood transfusion. I felt better automatically when receiving the blood; energy back! I spent Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday at the hospital. They let me check out Wednesday night. I've adjusted my at home meds, and have a check up in a week. I feel soooo much better! I think I dropped about 20 lbs, and though my organs are still swollen, I'm working on that.

So what happens now? Right before this, I had built a plan I called my "Liquid Love Feast". I realized my body was spending too much time on digestion, and my diet had slipped. I hate juicing, the process not the actual juice, so I looked into some programs including the Blue Print Cleanse, which was just too expensive. So I came up with a new solution. There is a shop called Coffee Girls less than five minutes from my house that makes fresh juice. They come in 20oz, and they have 8 different varieties. From my research, if you go on a juice feast, drinking 64-80 oz of juice daily is ideal. So I plan on getting 4 drinks a day. Right now we have just been running up and buying them, and of course I was in the hospital, so no real time to get started. I am going to try and work something out, maybe a delivery system with the store; fingers crossed.

In addition I'm drinking lots of coconut water and aloe beverages. Protein drinks as well. I've decided to allow certain things like light soups, applesauce, etc. However, liquid is the focus. My goal is to do 1-3 enemas daily, skin brushing, detox baths, etc. I also ordered a liver cleanse, which I'll blog about when it arrives. I really want to focus on getting healthy.

As I get stronger, yoga will also be added and a few other items as well.

Cancer Thrivers: Polly Noble

2012-01-27T05:00:00.000-08:00

This is the third entry in my Cancer Thrivers Series. You can check out the first two entries here:

Cancer Thriver: Jess from the Wellness Warrior
Cancer Thriver: Cortney from Green Drink Diaries

Polly has an amazing story and I'm so grateful I have the opportunity to share it with you today.

I understand this is your second time with cancer; the first you followed the traditional methods. How did you feel when the cancer returned, and what made you decide to explore options outside of chemo? Most people don't even realize they have any, so how did you discover holistic healing?

Obviouslybeing told the cancer had returned was disappointing as no-one everwants to be told they have cancer, especially not twice in 4 years!But I took it as best I could and vowed to do as much as possible tomake myself well again. I refused to let this cancer be my downfall.During my first diagnosis, I had read The Journey by Brandon Bays whohealed herself naturally by healing emotional issues that hadremained unresolved. This opened up to me a whole new world ofalternative healing and the possibility of the body healing itself.From here, I just read and read more books on how the body wasdesigned to heal so when I was diagnosed for the second time andcoupled with the fact i had suffered very badly with side effectsfrom conventional treatment such as chemo and radiotherapy, it waskind of a no brainer to try a more natural approach.

How did you family and friends respond to your choice to go the alternative route?

Isat my family down and said, “you may not like nor understand whyor what I’m doing but I feel that this is for me to heal naturally.I don’t want to know if you disagree or have concerns - it’s nothelpful for me to hear it so please keep it to yourself. I just needto know you love and support me” to which they agreed because theyare amazing.

Did you work with a regular Oncologist or some form of holisticdoctor? How do you feel you were treated?

Ihave had to become my own doctor! I am fortunate to have anoncologist who is very understanding and happy for me to do this myway. I have employed a team of practitioners from acupuncturists toenergy healers to integrative doctors so that I have a support systemavailable to me as and when i need them but ultimately it’s me thatdecides what to do and when which I encourage others to do. It’s soeasy to give your power away to your doctor but it’s up to theperson with cancer to take responsibility and do everything they canto help themselves heal or live with cancer peacefully.

Did you use any detox tools to help move the toxins out, such asenemas, skin brushing, foot bath, etc?

Ido daily enemas, skin brushing, far infrared saunas (i bought one formy home), exercise to get the lymph system pumping as well as takingzeolite clay every morning.

Tell us more about the Cancer Journey book and your inspirationbehind that?

Ibegan writing The Cancer Journey-Positive Steps To Help Yourself Healwith 2 other people as part of a 21 day challenge to achieve theimpossible! It took us a lot longer than 21 days as you can imaginebut it was a wonderful springboard to creating a book that is helpingmany people. The Cancer Journey is a book I wish I had had when I wasfirst diagnosed at 24. Its a very practical guide as to what someonewith cancer can do to help themselves whatever route they choose totake - conventional or alternative. There is often a lot ofinformation on diet and lifestyle that oncologists and doctors don’ttell you or simply just don’t know enough about which couldactually make a huge difference between healing or not.

Can you tell us a little bit about the healing program you are now implementing?

Myhealing program has 2 fundamental parts; detoxification andnourishment. I concentrate on flooding my body with much needednutrients, vitamins & minerals and detoxing my body of toxins andany other matter, whether physical, emotional or mental - stuff I nolonger need. In addition, I use meditation to help me calm my mind,put more attention on stillness and turn down the volume on the crazyfear-fueling thoughts that love to pop up and try to freak me out. Iuse vision boards, affirmations, exercise and juicy future goals tokeep me inspired and motivated. All in all, everything I do is tohelp my body kickstart its natural healing mechanism which existswithin all of us.

Whatis your status today? How are you feeling?

Ifeel great! The last scan i had, my doctor said was very encouragingas there had been no growth to any organs and no real change. So atleast it’s not getting bigger.

What other books would you recommend for the newly diagnosed?

The fist thing I recommend someone do when they are diagnosed is to take inventory of their life and in particular their diet. Adopting an anti-inflammatory diet is super important to reducing and improving the environment in which cancer loves to thrive. Crazy Sexy Diet by the awesome Kris Carr is a great start, Anti-cancer by Dr David Servan-Schreiber, The China Study by Colin Campbell, Healing with whole foods by Paul Pitchford and Healing The Gerson Way by Charlotte Gerson

What lead you to blog and create your own life coaching program?

I was a life coach before I became a holistic health coach so helping people live their best life has always been something I have wanted to do. With my interest and love of food and nutrition it made sense to combine the two to help people use food to improve their health as i feel this impacts every area of life if its out of balance.

Any other tips for newly diagnosed?

Don’tpanic, get lots of different opinions and look at all options beforemaking a decision. Whatever route you decide to go down whether thatbe alternative or conventional, there are always many optionsavailable to you.

AboutMe..

PollyNoble is a holistic health coach, raw food coach, inspirationalspeaker and co-author of "The Cancer Journey". She alsowrites for The Huffington Post, Passion Magazine and makes regularappearances on BBC Radio. Having been diagnosed with cancer for thesecond time in February 2010, aged 28, Polly embarked on akick-cancer-butt mission to heal herself naturally using a moreholistic natural approach.

Sheis passionate about using her journey on the cancer train to helpothers arm themselves with everything they need to know to createhealth and happiness and change their diet and lifestyle to makeprevention their priority, whatever their health. Having studied and researched extensively not only through books but herstudies at The Institute of Integrative Nutrition, she wholeheartedlybelieves the body can be healed naturally and shares her insights& experience with you here. Polly's kick-ass attitudeinspires and motivates people to weed out the toxic crap and get realwith the good stuff! Polly's is co-author of "The Cancer Journey- Positive Steps To Help Yourself Heal" which is available fromwww.thecancerjourneybook.com or Amazon. She is also the subject of adocumentary, following her throughout her healing journey.

MissionStatement...To inspire others to live a happier and healthier lifeand to do everything in their power to achieve this in every momentso they can live a life they love.

Mottos:

Gogreen, get clean

Becomea green juice junkie!

Living Nutz Product Review

2012-01-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

I recently had the pleasure of receiving a box of Living Nutz samples. These are raw nuts that have been soaked, coated in deliciousness, and dehydrated. They have several flavors, some sweet, some more savory. My favorite is the "Tahitian Vanilla Bean Coconut Creme Walnutz". They just melt in your mouth and are the perfect snack. Other flavors include "I Love Vegan Cheesy Almonds", "Bodacious Banana Bread Walnutz", "Passionate Pesto Walnutz" and several more. Admittedly, I'm more of a sweet than savory, but there is definitely something for everyone here. These are the perfect snack to carry in your purse for when you just need a little something on the run. You can order these nuts at Living Nutz website.

Have you tried Living Nutz?

23 Ways to Love Your Body

2012-01-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

Get a dry skin brush and brush the dry skin off every day before your shower. As you go over your skin, tell each body part how much you love it, "I love you toes, I love you knees, I love you thighs, I love you shoulders,"

Drink a quart of green smoothie or green juice daily to give you body the nutrients it needs

Close your eyes and visualize yourself surrounded by love. Go inside and thank each cell, each organ, for functioning properly, and send it love

Mediate

Take B12 and Vitamin D supplements to stay healthy

Keep your colon cleanse with enemas; coffee enemas will detox the liver.

Coat your body with coconut oil after getting out of the shower

Make a spa day and give yourself a facial, get one of those kits for your feet and show your feet some love. Relax in a nice oatmeal bath and sprinkle some lavender essential oil in.

Love your flaws

Each scar has a story, don't be ashamed of them, send them love

Masturbate

Spend time in the sun

Wear organic clothing

Listen to your body when it tells you it hurts

Rest

Stretch

Do yoga

Photo Credit (http://www.flickr.com/photos/emmakatkaphotography/)

Exercise

Hug yourself

Look at yourself naked in the mirror and appreciate everything

Get a crazy hairdo

Use quality makeup or go naked, same for other beauty and soap products

Smile often and laugh even more

31 Things #23: Write Myself a Love Letter

2012-01-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Shanna,

You are a beautiful star in this world. Your potential shines bright, and your heart is full of love. I love you. You are my soul, my one and only. We belong together in harmony. I love your/my body, the swing of our hips, our lips, the color of our hair. We are beautiful. We/I am lovely and worthy of love. A beautiful spirit is lifting me. This is the year to heal, to get down with my Spiritual self, get back into my hobbies and spend time with my friends. I am loving that I have started back on my path; coffee enemas, smoothies, and my new Radical Self Love Meetup. I love my laughter, every scar on my body, the beating of my heart. I love my creativity, my ability to read quickly, and my writing. I love me, every cell, every heartbeat, every moment in time, I am loved. I love that I am open to new opportunities and I'm not afraid to go for it. I love that I'm a leader, and a listener, and a good friend. I love myself unconditionally.

Love,

Coconut Secret: Chocolate Bars Product Review

2012-01-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Recently I received a package from Coconut Secret, asking me to review their new line of chocolate bars. Since chocolate and coconut and two of my favorite things, I readily agreed. The bars come in 4 flavors, Coconut Macaroon Bar, Almond Coconut Bar, Mint Chocolate, and Classic Coconut. All all vegan, except the Macaroon bar, and they are also all gluten free. These bars have very little sugar, and of course the sugar used is coconut sugar. I decided to try the Mint Chocolate bar first and all I can say is.....DIVINE. Real mint flavor with real coconut, raw chocolate, my taste buds were tingling with all the different flavors coming my way. To say I loved this bar would be an understatement. I also found the bars to be filling in just a few bites, and decided to save the rest for later. I think you could easily eat off one bar for a week, just savoring each bite. I highly recommend checking these out. I imagine they are available at Whole Foods, and if not, ask your local Whole Foods or nature store to carry them.

I also requested to try the Coconut Flour. I found a brownie recipe that uses Almond Flour and just switched it out. Delicious! The one thing about using the coconut flour, is that you either have to mix with other flours, or if used on it's own the recipe must include eggs. I plan on getting a book on coconut flour recipes so I can make more deliciousness.

Coconut Flour Brownies

Ingredients(Makes1 8 x 8 pan):

3/4 cup almond flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon instant coffee granules(optional)
1/2 cup butter
7oz baking chocolate, divided OR 3/4 cup chocolate chips
Method:
1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix together the almond flour, salt, cocoa powder, and baking powder and set aside.
3. In a separate bowl, melt together 4 ounces of chocolate or a scant 1/2 cup chocolate chips with the butter.
4. White the chocolate is melting, beat together the eggs, sugar, vanilla and coffee granules if using.
5. Slowly pour the melted chocolate and butter into the egg/sugar mixture while whisking until fully incorporated. Don’t go too fast so that the raw eggs don’t cook upon contact.
6. Pour the chocolate mixture in with the dry ingredients and mix completely.
7. Pour the batter in an 8 x 8 pan.
8. Sprinkle the top with the remaining chocolate and gently press it into the batter.
9. Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick poked into the center comes out clean. Let these cool completely before cutting in.
  
  To Learn more about Coconut Secrets Products click here

50 Ways To Feel Like A Goddess Again

2012-01-18T05:00:00.000-08:00

Again, I'm not sure what site I got this from, but I thought it was beautiful...

Take a meditation-nap

Write yourself apermission slip… What do you need to give yourself permission for?

Create somethingjust for you…

Have a greensmoothie! Greens are good for the soul AND our moods!

Reach out tofive people and tell them how much you love them and are grateful forthem.…

Stand outsidewhen it is sunset or sunrise… the colours and light will heal yourchakras and energy…

Go for a driveto a place you haven’t been before… Even if it’s just a road,park, shop or river. Let your spirit see new things!

Switchoff for the day and remember joys which arescreen-free.

Write yourThingsto do This Life list.

Write a loveletter to the Goddess in You.

Give away ordonate three things you own that don’t make you feel magical.

Watch inspiringmovies

… or watchridiculous 1980′s comedies or silly romantic-comedies or kid’smovies… feel good movies!

Createa dreamboard.

Dream up,organise and host a gathering of goddesses.

Make a rawdessert.

Find a place youcan have a campfire. You don’t have to camp out all night… juststay for the best bits of fire-gazing and marshmallow-burning!

Mark in yourcalendar an LBW. My hunky invented these – Lazy Bastard Weekends. Aweekend where you have total permission to do as little as possible.In pyjamas. Then nap. It’s muchos healing and restorative!

Ask your Mama totell you your birth story.

Whenever I am inneed of healing, I read SARK’s TransformationSoup. It’s my favourite of hers to bring joy,healing & rejuvenation into my life. Sparkle SARKle!

Get a reading bysomeone you either know already, or who comes recommended. Readingsalways help me get back on track again when I lose my way.

Go swimming.Even if swimming just means sitting in the spa at your local healthclub. That totally counts!

Drink morewater. Chances are you are dehydrated. Love your friendly waterpolice!

Stop complainingfor today. Start saying you are AWESOME… You will begin to feel it!

Give yourcrystals a good cleansing with water and salt, sunlight or moonlight.

Decide toforgive someone.

See if you canfind music you were obsessed by as a kid or teen. (My sisters knowall the words to the Lion King soundtrack! I was more in love withRick Price, Ace of Bass and Joshua Kadison). Listen to them again…maybe even sing a long!

Make a pile ofyour favourite healing books and lie in amongst them.

Find a crystaland make it your healing crystal. Keep it in your pocket during theday, sleep beside it at night. Let it become a beloved companion!Amethyst, jade and green calcite are especially good healers, buttrust your intuition as to what YOU need!

Thank someonefrom your past who was special to you. (I once wrote a letter to myfourth grade teacher Miss Collins thanking her for making a giftedand talented writers class and asking me along. That class meant somuch to me!)

Make space inyour life for magic to enter by doing some divine decluttering!

Go on a retreat.One that’s run by you, or a group one. Retreats are oh so good!

Organise abreakfast date with your favourite person.

Decide on a newhobby to play with that you haven’t tried before… Horse riding!Scrap booking! Disco bowling! Knitting! Ice skating! Creativewriting! Ze possibilities are endless…

Cuddle a puppyor meow-meow.

Marry yourself.

Find your totemanimal.

Go have a bookpicnic outside and get distracted by the clouds!

Create an altarthat feels supportive, uplifting and inspiring… a collection of allthe lovely things you want to remind yourself of…

Create a giftbasket for your best friend.

Take 100 deepbreaths. One after the other.

Write on a pieceof paper what you are willing to let go of. Burn it.

Make one newfriend for the day – who cares if it is online or offline.Connection is goooood!

Make yourbedroom into a sanctuary.

Give yourself asuperhero name for ze day! I am Queen Megatron! I can bounce with thepower of a thousand pogo sticks and a hundred Tiggers!

Take yourself onan Artists Date for lunch!

Let someone elsedecide what book you should read next.

Paint an angeland put it beside your bed.

Write letters.The kind that need stamps. Apply stickers by ze boatload. Embraceyour inner penpalling eleven year old self!

Play dress-ups.

Sleep in themoonlight – either keep your curtains open or sleep outside. Or ifyou can’t do either – step outside for a moment before going tobed just to say goodnight to Grandmother Moon.

Take a mediabreak.

Write a list ofyour own favourite ways to heal and get sparkly again…

Ready?Set! Go! Time to create magic!!

My Intention Letter

2012-01-17T05:00:00.001-08:00

My mother is a healer and an expert on the law of attraction and achieving miracles. She has a weekly newsletter that discusses anything from Reiki to Angel therapy, and lessons from the Universe. This week's newsletter had an amazing suggestion on manifesting your 2012 goals.

Pretend that it is the end of the year and you are writing a Christmas letter telling your friends about all the wonderful things that have happened in your life that year....make sure you include how to FELT when they happned. Get into that exquisite place of pretend....allow your heart to lead you into that feeling place beyond judgement, doubt or fear. Always state your intentions in a positive "feel good" manner. Some example statements might be, so many wonderful things have happened to me this year: I lost all that excess weight and now I am at my best weight ever! My wedding was even more perfect and beautiful that I ever imagined it could be! I have the best relationship ever with a partner who is beyond my wildest dreams' I am having so much fun making more money than I could ever spend! you get the idea...Once you have written your "intention letter" post copies in places where you will be sure to see them to remind you of what your are creating...always get into that feeling place when you read them.

To learn more about my Mom, Rhonda and Awakening Wellness and to sign up for her newsletter, check out her website: http://www.awakening2wellness.com.

Ok, so here is my "intention letter." I'd love to see what you do as well!

Dear Friends,

2012 has been the most incredible year of my experience. I have done superb on my 2012 intentions; I feel great, my career has just grown, I've gained a brand new family; life is good.

My blogs have all reached over 300 followers, and more than that on Facebook. Collectively I receive over 30,000 hits a day. I have so many review requests that I'm barely able to keep up. I've been making the most incredible vegan dishes and throwing taste testing parties; they are a big hit. I recently started an Etsy page and have been selling baked goods and some knitting projects. Yes, I learned to knit and what fun! I'm part of a weekly stitch 'n' bitch group, have made several scarfs a super awesome hat and have several other projects in the works. Next stop: learn to crochet.

Yoga has given me so much; not only can I touch my toes (ha!) but it's just opened so many doorways spiritually and physically for me. I feel incredible and have an amazing amount of energy. My tumors are no longer visible (woot!) and the sores have healed on my legs. My fluid issue from last year is gone; and so therefore I am a fashion diva again! My hair has grown thick and silky, and yes, I dyed it purple this summer. My parents freaked, but I loved it.

I've read more than my 52 books, including a good portion of A Course in Miracles. What an amazing journey that has been. I have an incredible group of friends and my social life is "off the hook" as they say. This past fall I finally went on that Missouri trip with some of my gal pals and what fun it was! So many things that I had no idea about.

The highlight is still my summer weekend in Kripalu. I attended Gabby's Loveatarian workshop and; moved, just moved. I am forever changed. And the relationships; forever baby.

All in all, life is incredible. I'm healthy, I have a great living situation and a new family due to my father's new wife, a job I love, and what better way to spend your free time than with a good book?

I hope your year has been as generous to you as mine.

Much Love,

Shanna

The Daily Love on Forgiveness and Grace

2012-01-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

If you've never read The Daily Love, you are missing out. It's a blog, a newsletter and a movement. The newsletter comes daily with links to blog posts from inspirational bloggers, quotes, and a beautifully written post from Mastin Kipp himself. Most of the same content can be found on the blog. I am constantly inspired by his journey and the way he connects with his readers. He's created a special email address for readers to send in stories and questions and sometimes he will post them. Often his posts are inspired by them. The more outlets to spread love, the law of attraction, gratitude, forgiveness, etc., the better. The Daily Love is one of the best I've seen, and I'm looking forward to it's continued growth.

Recently Mastin discussed Forgiveness. Here's his take:

Forgiveness A - means that we are willing to forgive whoever hurt us. This includes forgiving ourselves. This doesn't make it right what they did, but it does begin to free us from the pain and sadness cycle. We forgive them, not for them and not to let them off the hook, but to free ourselves. After a while, if we do not do this, we are actually letting them win by holding on to the pain. The best way to get back at someone who hurt you is to forgive him or her, because then you get to take your power back and they no longer hold dominion over your life.

As we step into Forgiveness A - life gets better. We are beginning to move on. It's not as bad as it used to be - the charge is less. And most people stay in Forgiveness A - which is totally fine and perfect. And if you can get here, you've made a MAJOR win.

But Forgiveness B - that is the place that is the hardest to get to, yet to the most rewarding - and the most confronting. Forgiveness B takes forgiveness to a whole new level - when you forgive from a place of Forgiveness B - this is the level of forgiveness that Jesus, Buddha and the like would do. And it's hard. Level B Forgiveness asks us not only to forgive those who hurt us, but also Love them. And see that from their point of view, they are in tremendous pain and their act against us was just a very messed up request for Love. So, we step into Loving those that hurt us. This doesn't mean they have to become out best friends; we can Love them from a distance, but if we get here - we are totally free. And we can express our forgiveness to those who have hurt us most - which will help to set them free as well. Because they are still suffering from the event, just as you are.

And when we step into Forgiveness B - we also see that what we once thought was a horrible event, we now see as Grace - and an event that shaped our lives in a way that - even though it was extremely difficult - was a part of our lives that happened to help us grow. When we see past events that hurt us as Grace - then we are totally free and nothing will ever be able to touch us again.

Wherever you are on the Forgiveness Arc - it's ok and perfect for this moment. One of the worst things we can do is try to rush this process. Forgiveness is an acceptance process and it is very personal.

Grace by definition is "Favor or goodwill". Favor by whom? Well, I'm going to say The Uni-verse. We were created by The Uni-verse to express our gifts and to collaborate with each other to help each other reach our highest expression of creative freedom. Each person has been created for a specific purpose and reason - and NO other person can fulfill this purpose other than YOU. In this way, we are all children of The Uni-verse and favored.

This is not something we have to earn. This is something that is given to us freely from a place of Love. And the cool thing about Grace is that Grace can cancel Karma. Karma is the law of cause and effect - every action creates and equal and opposite reaction. But that isn't how Grace works. There is no action that requires Grace to come forth and there is no negative effect that Grace can't stop.

The other thing that it's important to remember is that from our limited point of view, we can't always see in the moment what is best for us. So - what seems to be a total disaster can actually be Grace in action.

Sometimes our biggest problem is the greatest act of Grace. What seems like horror, terror or really bad luck is the event that we needed in order to heal our wounds, step out into our power and then use our experience, strength and hope to help other people come out of their darkness. Grace can feel like a soft feather and sometimes Grace can be a kick in the teeth (or worse). But over time and with enough practice, we can begin to see the dual nature of life playing itself out on the human plane and know that even in the worst of it, we are a Light in the world, and perhaps the purpose of all this darkness is the opportunity for us to discover our own Light.

Powerful isn't it? Here are a few tips on Forgiveness:

Start with yourself. If you can't forgive yourself you will never properly forgive others
Write a letter to yourself, write every horrible, shameful, thing you've ever done that you've yet to let go of. Then sit with it, and find the gratitude. Every experience is a lesson and no matter how horrible, we grow from it. Then write down your gratitudes. Finally, forgive. Write it, believe it. Once you are truly forgiven, burn the letter and send the ashes out to the Universe.
Use the above exercise to deal with the people you need to forgive.
Download Gabby Bernstein's "forgiveness" meditation and "cord cutting" meditation to help move forward
Check in with yourself and make sure you are still clear. If you still need to clear out some emotions, try EFT.
Write your gratitudes daily. The more grateful you are, the less negative energy will come your way and the less you will have to forgive.
Ask the Universe to take away your anger, send out a prayer, and get a good nights sleep
When you are ready, visualize the situation and everyone involved with LOVE. Send out white light, wrap them in it, and believe in the power of Love to heal.

Are you ready to Forgive?

The Versatile Blogger Award

2012-01-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly. ( I would add, pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent!)
Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.
Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Well first, WOW!!! Thank you to The Perks of Having Cancer for my nomination. What a beautiful gesture!

Lovely Blogs
1. All the Live Long Day
2. Austenesque Reviews
3. Yes and Yes
4. Almost Vegan
5. The Caffeinated Cupcake
6. Green Beans and Yam
7. Kind Over Matter
8. Laura's Reviews
9. Life is a Canvas
10. Nourish Thyself
11.The Grateful Life
12.The Wellness Warrior
13.Walkstrong
14.The Purple Carrot
15.Chick Lit Plus

Seven Things About ME!

My first word was doggie

I detest mushrooms

My girl crush is Clea Duvall, ever since But I'm a Cheerleader. If I were to ever have a lesbian experience, she's my gal. ;)

I've never chewed a piece of gum

I was a competitive pianist

I had a couple poems published in literary magazines in my early 20's

I'm addicted to Trader Joe's red licorice; it's not TJ brand, just something spectacular they carry

10 Day Cleanse Wrap Up

2012-01-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

What???? It's only day 3 you say. Let's face it, I haven't been doing a focused cleanse, more like a randomness of eating better, getting Spiritual, LOTS of creativity, etc. Which, is what I wanted, but setting 10 days to it is silly. So here's the deal, no more posts on this topic, HOWEVER, you will continue to see my growth just like usual. I will go ahead and posts some notes/photos of Thursday and then Existing's Tricky will go on as usual. i do intend to do a cleanse of some sort; checked out some books from the library. So when I do something for real, you'll be the first to know. For now, look for some product reviews, self love ideas, and so much more.

Snow Day in Kansas City

Ingredients for the most delicious of sandwiches

Tomato, Avocado Grilled Cheese

Ode to Yes and Yes

2012-01-13T04:26:00.000-08:00

So right around the holiday's I purchase the 2012 Yes and Yes calendar. I had the 2011 and LOVED it, so why not? Sarah, the delightful woman behind the blog Yes and Yes sent me a message on Twitter asking for a review. Of course(!) I replied, only to fail miserably. Sadly, it timed out during my week of fatigue where I basically slept for 10 days. After, I simply just didn't do it. I truly LOVE this blog, and it's been the inspiration for so many things. This is where the 31 Things Before I Turn 31 project came from. So here's my Ode, a way to say, sorry for being a bum, and girly, love you.

The Calendar

First things first, the calendar. This pic comes from last years calendar. I found it incredibly inspiring and fun. When I took it down, I didn't want to throw it away, so it will be part of my Vision Board.

The new calendar is larger, and just as fantastic. On the backside of each month is a project, such as an outline for a postcard, so you can send it to a friend, questions about goals, etc. The calendar itself has all the regular holidays (i.e. Martin Lurther King, Easter, Fourth of July, etc.) but in addition some of the days have little tips such as "Go to the movies by yourself" or "Write a friend", "Meet for a late-night date."

Even though we are halfway through January, I still recommend ordering a calendar. The advice and projects alone are worth the price. Be inspired.

31 Things Before I Turn 31

I first read about this project about a year and a half ago. I thought it sounded fantastic and created my 30 Things list. I was halfway to 30 at that point, but still had a lot of fun with it. This year I've learned so much from this project and I'm already looking ahead to my 32 Things. In fact, I've been so inspired that just this past week I created a new blog called My Birthday Bucket List, that will go over all my goals, updates on how I'm doing, posts on completed projects, etc. Please check it out and sign up to be a follower. I love reading Sarah's posts; it's just such a clever idea!

The Blog

So what can I say? I LOVE LOVE LOVE this blog! There is so much variety from advice columns to travel guides, interviews with people who've had unique experiences, inspiration and of course Sarah's bucket list posts. Not to mention her Network of Nice. Here are some posts that I have enjoyed.

How to Publish a Book Without Going (Completely) Insane

How to Be a Better Writer

How to Make Friends Wherever You Go

101 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up: Part 1 and Part 2

The Art of Self Love

Mini Travel Guides: Azerbaijan Turin, Italy Norway

From the Yes and Yes Website

about

Yes and Yes is a lifestyle blog created and written by Sarah Von (who finds talking about herself in third person pretentious and weird). I created Yes and Yesbecause I wanted to read a blog that was funny, smart and offered varied content.

And by 'varied content' apparently I meant posts about cat outfits. And haikus about Brazilian waxes. And instructions on how to become a grown up.

I couldn't find a blog like that (maybe I didn't look hard enough?) so I just started one myself. I also wanted to read something that addressed the many, many aspects of modern life and didn't pigeon-hole women into different camps.Fancy, high-paid CEOs might want to read about low-cost volunteer-based traveland hippie girls might want to read about cute, over-priced underwear. Moms might want to read about the travails of online dating and college girls might want to learn about throwing theme parties. Why not put all that stuff on one site?

Also? I lack the attention span to limit myself to one topic.

Ultimately, Yes and Yes is about living the life that works for you and saying 'yes' to the things that make you happy.

I'm Sarah Von. It's nice to meet you!

Hanging with girls from the Cat Cat Tribe in Sapa, Vietnam

It looks like I'm contemplating history and the inevitable
passage of time, but really I'm thinking about how I want a latte.

Oooooh, what's this a metaphor for?

Another photo, rife with metaphorical symbolism!

Dear Edward Norton: I'm in yer ice cave, stealing yer spirit animal

Wanna know more? Here's a two part interview! And we can even be friends onfacebook or twitter. Email me questions, comments and book deals at sarah (at) yesandyes (dot) org.

Please go and follow this blog; just say YES!

10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse: Day 2

2012-01-12T03:02:00.000-08:00

Review Previous Posts:
10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse
10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse: Day 1

Pictured is my Raw Food World order, which arrived in perfect time for this cleanse. I got three different raw cereals, and several raw snacks. Delicious.

Day 2 started at 9am with peanut butter waffles. I realize I haven't been extremely specific about the food aspect of this program, but mostly I want to eat healthy, cut the junk, and focus on detoxing, exercise, self-growth and Spirituality. Anyway, I had breakfast, then brushed my teeth, did my skin brushing while telling my body how much I loved it and took a shower. Then I headed to Coffee Girls for some fresh veggie juice and egg souffle.

The first time I went I really didn't care for it, but Trader Joe's has grown on me. Today was my best visit yet, as I was able to get 85% of my grocery shopping there, and at a considerably cheaper rate than Whole Foods. I picked up a ton of greens of all kinds; arugula, red leaf lettuce, mixed greens, spinach, romaine, endive, etc. I bought more almonds for making almond milk and several other items. Then I headed to Whole Foods for the rest. I purchased some deliciousness from their market, so I'll have some pre-made meals. I also have a recipe for a green chili, so making that this week.

I crashed when I got home (didn't sleep very well the night before) and slept until about 7:30. I got up, picked out some books, did some work on The Reinvention Project, a 30 day program for self-growth. More on that later. Then I warmed up some delicious quinoa patties and roasted root veggies from Whole Foods.

I started "Enchanted Love: The Power of Intimate Relationships" by Marianne Williamson while I ate dinner. Really enjoying it so far. So many non-fiction books are dry, but this is almost like a fairytale, beautifully written. I picked out my next set of books as well.

After dinner, I spent time writing and work on blog design, than crashed around 11:30pm.

I did some things, and not others today. Day 3 I intend to kick back, made a smoothie, do a coffee enema, oatmeal bath, lots of reading, start on my Goddess workbook and Vision Board, and meditate. Of course I'm going to eat some good stuff. I have a recipe for a kale, avocado, red pepper, tomato and something salad I'll make for lunch. I'm probably going to make my simple gluten free pasta recipe for dinner since the basil has been hanging out for awhile.

My Beautiful flowers from Trader Joe's! Goodnight! See you for Day 3.

10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse: Day 1

2012-01-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

Last night I cried tears of Gratitude all evening. Tuesday has been the most blessed day. I work up at 5am, which at first I thought was crazy, until I remember I went to bed at 9pm, so still 8 hours. I spent time working on some blog kinks, and in checking my email saw Danielle LaPorte's fire sale. She's retiring her Spark Kit, with the new release of her book the Firestarter sessions coming out this Spring. The Spark Kit is a life/finance/branding/inspiration that is over 200+ pages, with hours of video and audio and much more. It's normally $150. Her fire sale meant that if you pre-ordered the new book, you could do a love donation for the Spark kit. Well, you could only pay through Paypal, and when I checked my balance I had $6.88 in it. I took a pause and said, what the heck? I paid $5 for this amazing program.

Shortly thereafter I received requests, RECEIVED, as in they contacted me(!) from two publishers asking me to review something. One I emailed with a quick response of YES! We then emailed back and forth for the next hour. She emailed me wanting to know if I wanted to review more books. Um, yes. So she sent me the review list of upcoming titles, and she's from fucking TOR books! For those not familiar, TOR is one of the top publishing companies, known for their sci-fi/fantasy books. Obviously they publish other things because the book she contacted me about is historical fiction. Anyway, looked at the titles picked six and she said "great!". Yes, I'm basically getting 7 free books, plus I'm now on a list so whenever they update, I'll get to pick more. The other email I haven't responded to yet, but yet another free book, plus the opportunity to review more. So blessed!

All through the day I kept getting emails for these free programs, 30 Day Reinvention, some relationship program, and a few free workbooks. I signed up for all of it and now have tons of inspiration for 2012. The 30 day program suggested getting a buddy, so through the Facebook page I met a wonderful gal whose I spend quite a bit of time chatting with on Facebook. We will be keeping in touch daily to meet our goals.

So then I check my email and Gabrielle Bernstein had emailed me and comped her All Access Club, which I think was over $100 for a year. So you get free lectures, including this Friday's New Years lecture, videos, goodies, etc. I am so moved. So I sent her an email back about how much she has inspired me and contributed to my healing and next thing I know, she sends me an email and comps me for her summer Kripalu Loveatarian weekend workshop. I cried happy tears. I called both my parents, crying.

I just feel like everything is happening in such a beautiful way. I had my 24 hour creative push a few days ago, got some good sleep, and then the Universe sends me all this love. Tomorrow I plan on starting on some of those workbooks, creating my 2012 vision board, and really getting down with my cleanse.

So I may not have been perfect on Day 1. I ate well, in fact, this morning I made more almond milk, made pecan milk, walnut milk, chocolate walnut milk and....strawberry macadamia nut milk. I am loving my nut milk bag!

I finished my third book for 2012. My goal is 52; so far so good. I'll start another one tomorrow.

I will end my evening with prayer and visualization. Tomorrow I plan to start fresh with a new book at breakfast, MSM/lemon water, raw cereal, then brushing/flossing, coffee enema, skin brushing and shower. Then I'm going to get some stuff from Trader Joes and Whole Foods. I plan on getting Spiritual in the afternoon, might even break out the yoga mat. I'll be sure to meditate/pray/visualize again. So most of my list will get done, if not all.

Feeling so much love and gratitude

My New Blogs, All FIVE of Them!!

2012-01-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

Last night I realized that some of the things I want to discuss in 2012 really doesn't fit the format of Existing's Tricky. This blog is designed to discuss my healing journey, nutrition, radical self love, etc. So I've created a few new blogs and I'd appreciate if you'd check them out! Don't worry, I will continue to post as regular on Existing's Tricky.

Embracing Miracles
This blog will follow my Spiritual Journey as I read and practice the lessons in A Course of Miracles, continue growing as a Spirit Junkie, spiritual book reviews, etc.

Enlightened by Books
I've joined and started several 2012 Book Challenges and this blog will be the reviews of everything I read. In addition I'm started Poetry Wednesday's, and much more!

My Birthday Bucket List
Remember my 31 Things List? Well this will go more in depth on my journey to achieve those things, plus of course my new list come March 29th!

52 Recipes in 52 Weeks
This is a food blog! I'll post at least one recipe a week, along with product reviews, cookbook review and so much more!

Radical Self Love
This blog is just as it says, radically loving oneself. A lot of inspiration comes from Gala Darling, who started this movement. I will have Gratitude Monday's, Things I Love Thursday and many posts on loving oneself. Be prepared to be moved.

Please sign up to be a follower, post on Facebook, Twitter, post comments, and let me know what you think!

10 Day Lifestyle Cleanse

2012-01-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

My first two intentions for the year were 1) Make a Plan and Stick With It and 2) Get Physical. This included adding some positives to my day eliminating things that were unhealthy, and sticking with it! This week I'm going to do what I call a "lifestyle cleanse" a simple transitioning from what I'm doing now, to where I want to be. This will include healthy eating, detox, yoga, emotional and spiritual growth, etc.

Here's what a typical cleanse day might look light. I will of course be blogging each day to let you know how I'm doing and what I'm doing.

Morning:

Start with a quart of MSM/Lemon water. This is good for cleansing the body, healing the skin, and clarity.
Drink a glass or quart of green juice. If breakfast is needed, stick to oatmeal or raw cereals and granola. We'll be leaving out grain based cereals for this cleanse.
Also, down a glass of Amazing Grasses supplement blend.
Take my pills, brush teeth and FLOSS! I am terrible at this and it is incredibly important. So this is a new habit, let's see how I do.
After my email session, do my enema. This includes a simple water enema and a coffee enema.
Skin Brushing session with "I love My Body Exercise". My friend Andrea came up with this one and I LOVE this idea. As you do your skin brushing, tell your body "I love you toes, I love you feet, I love you ankles, legs, knees, etc." As you go over your entire body with the brush, love it.
I will alternative between showers, and detox baths. The baths will be either epsom salt baths or oatmeal baths. They are also very relaxing.
Before lunch, I will sit for 15 minutes, relax, and do a Meditation exercise.

Afternoon:

A simple lunch of salad and a sweet potato or something of the sort. With my new book holder I am able to read during lunch, which, as you may recall, reading is the third item on my resolutions list.
Throughout the afternoon and day really, it's important to drink lots of water. I will also be drinking coconut water to keep my electrolytes up. If I get snackish, than nuts, trail mix, fruit, will all be acceptable snacks. I'll also want to sneak in another green smoothie
Two hours of writing daily is goal four, so this will definitely happen in the afternoon.
Gentle yoga, which, depending on how I feel will depend what I do. Most likely about 20 minutes. I have a new mat and beginners DVD (Yoga for Beginners) that will guide me.

Evening:

Dinner will be something like polenta with pesto and root vegetables, Buddha bowl, gluten free pasta, beans and rice, soups, etc.
This will be a time for more reading, knitting, jigsaw puzzle, contacting friends etc.
A nice glass of chocolate coconut milk should fix my sweet tooth for the evening.
Bedtime: prayer and visualization. I will end the night with a prayer to the Universe, and as I fall asleep, talk to my body and visualize it healing.

Sounds like a lot, but this is a LIFESTYLE. What makes it a cleanse? I will be avoiding dairy, gluten, sugar during this cleanse. After this, if I choose I can always add a little of those in, but as they are really not that important, I'd rather not. This will also complete one of my 31 Things goals, do Megan Templars cleanse. I'm not following exactly, but taking pieces and incorporating into my own.

After this I will do Sarah Wilson's "I Quit Sugar" cleanse, which should be easier once I make my lifestyle change. It's an 8 week cleanse and I will definitely be doing weekly blog updates when that starts.

What are you doing to kick off you 2012 resolutions?

My New Blogs

2012-01-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

Embracing Miracles
This blog will follow my Spiritual Journey as I read and practice the lessons in A Course of Miracles, continue growing as a Spirit Junkie, spiritual book reviews, etc.

Enlightened by Reading
I've joined and started several 2012 Book Challenges and this blog will be the reviews of everything I read.

My Birthday Bucket List
Remember my 31 Things List? Well this will go more in depth on my journey to achieve those things, plus of course my new list come March 29th!

Please sign up to be a follower, post on Facebook, Twitter, post comments, and let me know what you think!

The Storm Before the Calm: Book 1 in the Conversations with Humanity Series: A Review

2012-01-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Press Release Description:

Something happened in early 2011 that hasn’t happened in decades, perhaps centuries—and we didn’t even notice it. That is, we didn’t see it for what it was.

Massive unrest from Tunisia to Egypt to Libya rocked the Arab world and threw the globe into political crisis. Within days, an earthquake-tsunami-nuclear calamity of terrifying proportions shocked Japan and sent the world reeling once again, even as the globe’s financial markets shuddered to sustain themselves while states and nations tottered on the brink of bankruptcy—where many still linger.

All of this, of course, we did notice. What we may have missed was that ancient predictions for this period of time called for exactly this: simultaneous environmental, political, and financial disasters. Were we seeing the beginning of “the end of history”—and not picking up the signal?

In his prescient new book The Storm Before The Calm, seven-time New York Times best-selling author Neale Donald Walsch offers a startling answer: yes. But Walsch also says there is nothing to fear, advancing an extraordinary explanation for what is happening even now all over the planet.

Then—and more important—he provides a stunning prescription for healing our lives and our world through the answering of seven simple questions, inviting people everywhere to join in an earth-saving exchange at TheGlobalConversation.com.

Compelling and perfectly timed, The Storm Before The Calm answers every question that is worth asking about December, 2012 and beyond.

In this book Neale takes us through 28 "Conversations" that he encourages us to carryout with the rest of humanity. Through the website The Global Conversation, he encourages us to create a dialogue. Essentially, the world is evolving and we need to be a part of our own evolution. He brings up 7 Essential Questions that mankind must ask, there is no right or wrong answer, but these questions, according to Neale, will ease our evolution as a part of humanity.

How is it possible that 6.9 billion people can all claim to want the same thing (peace, security, opportunity, prosperity, happiness and love) and be singularly unable to get it?
Is it possible that there is something we do not fully understand about life, the understanding of which would change everything?
Is it posslble that there is something we do not fully understand about ourselves, about our own life and it's purpose, the understanding of which would shift our reality and alter our experience for the better, forever?
Who am I?
Where am I?
Why am I where I am?
What do I intend to do about that?

These are pretty deep questions, and one's that most people shy away from. Neale takes time to provide his answer to each question, and encourages us to take time and come up with our own answers.

He also provides action steps to take to bring us closer to revolution and evolution. A few of these are:

Ask yourself the seven simple questions repeatedly
Participate in the world discussion at the Global Conversation website
Use social media to spread the word
Change starts with you
Make an actual list of "Things I Know About God" and "Things I Know about Life." See how this lines up with what you were taught as a child or came to understand through the common culture.
Spend 20 minutes a day with your soul
Create a Seven Questions Discussion Group

There are several more, but this is a start. I feel that this book is important, however, I found some of it to be repetitive and a little dull. I think it's something you would want to read over time, maybe read a few conversations, get involved online, and over time make your way through. Otherwise, it's a little overwhelming, and when things get overwhelming, they also get boring, and then reading them is pointless.

31 Things: #30 Learn to Make Nut Milk

2012-01-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I decided to make nut milk. I bought some raw almonds (highly recommend going to Trader Joe's for the best deals), soaked them overnight, and then today they were ready to become milk! I decided to make plenty, so I had soaked two cups of nuts. Little did I know how much that would create. First, I added the 2 cups of almonds, and put 8 cups of water in my Vitamix. I blended it on high for a couple of minutes until I had some awesome looking, yet slightly chunky milk.

Then, I got a bowl, and my nut milk bag (attained from the Raw Food World) and poured the milk mixture through the bag into the bowl. Well, since I had NO idea how much milk this would make, my bowl immediately filled and overflowed and I was so shocked I still had a good squeeze on the bag, and milk squirted all over me, the counter, floor, etc. I immediately grabbed a large mixing bowl and transferred the milk into that. Then SQUEEZE! Just squeeze that bag until every little drop of milk comes out and all that is left is the pulp.

I made 2 1/2 Quarts of Almond Milk. I tasted the milk, and while good, I always like the milks that are slightly sweetened. So I added a squirt of Agave nectar. Perfect.

After looking at how much milk I had, I decided to make one of the quarts chocolate almond milk. I added 3 Tablespoons of raw cacao powder. Very tasty. I am so excited to be able to make my own milk! And now that I have learned a bit, I might make less next time, plus, larger bowl so no explosions! Overall it really only took 10-15 minutes, and without the mishaps it might have taken less. The same method can be made to make any kind of nut milk; hazelnut, brazil nut, cashew milk, etc. I will certainly try some of these next time.

So what to do with the pulp? Freeze it for now. Almond pulp (or any of the nut pulps) are often used in raw baking recipes. Cafe Gratitude's dessert book uses almond and hazelnut flours for nearly every recipe. Raw tiramisu anyone?

Have you made nut milk?

Quantum Balance Pendants

2012-01-05T10:35:00.000-08:00

I have fallen in LOVE with these crystals! They are based on the Chakra system, and each necklace has a different purpose. I've been wearing the "I Allow", creating a bridge to Spirit and uniting heaven and earth energy. This is Magenta. I recently purchased, though have yet to receive, a gorgeous red crystal that focuses on the root chakra "I Will" for prosperity, grounding, life force, vitality, etc. I also have ordered the beautiful turquoise pendant "I Relate" focusing on the higher heart chakra, immune system, purification, and pure expression from the heart. You can get these either through their website: Quantum Balance Crystals or the Raw Food World.

Here's a fantastic video that really explains what they are all about.

2012 Intentions

2012-01-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again and I've got some fantastic Intentions set. This week I plan on getting my new Vision Board together and putting together a schedule to keep me on track. I'm really excited about some of the things I have lined up and in continuing some of my Intentions from last year. This year will be about healing and growing.

Make a Plan and Stick With It. I have a plan, and I keep making plans, but then somehow I never get them fully implemented. My goal is to focus on Green Smoothies, Enemas and my Supplements, and continue to add in other aspects of my plan as I create my schedule. This will be a year of healing. I also have some cleanses planned as well.
Get Physical. This is something that I struggled with last year, mostly due to my heart. And while that is still an issue, I believe that I am at a point where gentle exercise can be added. I got a new yoga mat and DVD for Christmas, and so that's where I will start.
Read, read, read. You may have noticed that I joined several reading challenges this year. I used to have a book attached to my hip; I read daily, at dinner, in the evening, doctor's office's, wherever I could. Last year my brain developed a bit of a fog, and I had a hard time focusing on reading. This has improved, and I've already read one book for 2012! My goal is at least 52, a book a week, and the reading challenges will keep me motivated and give me variety.
Write Daily. I will schedule daily writing sessions, whether it's working on my book, my blog, etc. I will write for at least 2 hours daily.
Publish My First Book. I have 100,000 words ready to be edited and turned into a fabulous book on the early years through 2011 of my healing journey. I have purchased a great program to help me in this endevour and fully intend to have a book deal by year's end.
Grow my Blog. By year's end I intend to have over 250 followers, at least 100 on Facebook, steady traffic, etc. You can help me with this by becoming a follower, retweeting posts, liking posts on Facebook and joining my Facebook community.
Meditation and Visualization. These two tools are so important in healing the mind and the body. I have done visualization exercises that have shrunk tumors and healed wounds on my body. There is no excuse not to continue to do this. Meditation is a great tool for creating balance and peace.
Spiritual Growth. I wish to continue on my Spirit Junkie path; I will be re-reading Gabby Bernstein's book, posting about it, and completing the exercises. I also plan on diving into a Course of Miracles, and have already discovered a weekly study group and online social network. I will incorporate prayer into my life and learn to "let go and let God". We are Spiritual beings living in a physical body, and it's time I gave some love to my ~ing.
Travel. My health prevents me from doing anything too wild, but I do still want to travel. One of my 31 Things is to have a Missouri weekend, and I intend to make that happen. I also will do some weekend trips to Columbia to visit friends and am looking into possibly going out to North Carolina and spending time with my grandparents. As I heal, I will expand my possibilities.
Friendships. I really want to focus on developing the friendships I have, and growing new ones. It seems like each year I have people come and go, and so working on those relationships and continuing to put myself out there and create new ones is so important. My friends are what got me through my health battle this past summer, and I want to make sure I keep them!
Give up TV. My Time Warner account renews in May, and I'm seriously thinking of giving up TV. I only have 5 shows that I watch, 2 of which are ending this season. Anything worth watching I can either Netflix at some point or watch online. I find that TV is just a distraction and I really don't care anymore. There is so much more out there, and why spend $60 on cable per month when I can increase my Netflix and spend $10 or less.
Learn to Knit. This has been on my 31 Things for awhile, and I actually took a class and never got a project started. So something at the first of the year I'm going to either retake the class or simply go to this wonderful local knitting store and get some help. I found an extremely simple scarf pattern for an easy first project, and intend to grow as a knitter. There is also a weekly Meetup group for young knitters, and I think it would simply be a great hobby.

So there you go. What will your 2012 Intentions be?

31 Things: Read Six Novels Inspired by Jane Austen

2012-01-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

Originally my goal was to read all the novels of Jane Austen. I had already read Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility and Emma. I did read Northanger Abbey, but I found Mansfield Park couldn't hold my interest. I do still wish to read Persuasion at some point, however, not at this time. Therefore I modified my goal a bit. There is a slew of Jane Austen inspired novels. Some take Pride and Prejudice, and change a scenario so it doesn't always work out the same way. Some are continuation stories, modern day adaptations and if you can believe it, supernatural stories as well. These are the six that I read for this challenge.

I read a Jane Austen blog called Austenesquie, which reviews all the Austen inspired novels, does author interviews and occasionally holds contests. I entered one of the drawings and won this book! So exciting. This is a retelling of Pride and Prejudice. It starts out with Darcy taking a voyage across the sea to America to pick up his sister Georgiana who has been staying there. The boat he's on is one he owns, so he has some pretty sweet accommodations. Elizabeth Bennett is also on the boat, but in steerage. Over the course of the voyage, Darcy and Elizabeth get to know each other, realize they met briefly in a carriage a few years before and fall in love. They secretly marry and this is where things get interesting. We have a few scenes from America and the story breezes through the return boat trip. Then it starts back at some familiar scenes and I won't tell you the rest, but I did thoroughly enjoy this story.

Murder? Intrigue? I absolutely loved this story. There aren't as many adaptations of Mansfield Park, and this is a unique one. It takes place in the same time period/setting etc., however, the author completely changes the personality of some of the characters. In this tale, Fanny Price is the snobby gal, which is pretty much why she ends up murdered. It's a great mystery with well drawn out characters and just a really fun read.

I really didn't know what to think when I picked this one up, but it had received good reviews and sounded extremely unique. Author Jack Caldwell takes the story of Pride and Prejudice, and moves it to just after the Civil War has ended. Elizabeth Bennett and her family are Northerners that decide to move South. Darcy is a prideful rancher still recovering from the war. Even with the different setting, familiar scenes can be discerned. What can I say, this was a fun book to read. Yehaw!!

This is the sixth book in this mystery series, a series that has quickly become a favorite for me. This series takes place right after the Darcy's get married. The first book deals with characters from Pride and Prejudice, the second mixes in characters from Sense and Sensibility, and 3-5 cover Emma, Mansfield Park, and Northanger Abbey. This book the Darcy's have the pleasure of interacting with Captain Wentworth and his new wife Anne from Persuasion. Essentially the Darcy's, along with Georgiana, take a vacation in Bath. They come across a dying woman on the beach one day, who is about to have a baby. They get her to a nearby sailors house, where she delivers and promptly dies. This is mystery one. There is also a mystery surrounding Darcy's cousin's naval chest, and the naval officer who returned it to them upon his death. As the story progresses, we start to realize these mysteries may connect. Will the Darcy's figure it out before someone else gets hurt? Highly recommended!

I thought this an appropriate book for the holidays. A delightful read with three short stories featuring the Darcy's Christmas'. Highly recommend.

I loved this book: you can find my full review on Goodreads

I am motivated to read more Jane Austen, and have the bug. I even created a reading challenge that you can check out here: Explore the Many Genres of Jane Austen Spinoffs 2012 Reading Challenge.

Three months to go on my 31 Things List!

Historical Fiction Reading Challenge 2012

2011-12-30T08:50:00.000-08:00

I've gone reading challenge bananas!! I've wanted to do a Historical Fiction related challenge, however nothing has been posted yet. So I decided to create my own!

So, here are the rules...

1.. The challenge runs from January 1, 2012 and ends December 31, 2012.

2. There are four levels to this challenge: Lady In Waiting 1-3 Books, Earl 4-6 Books, Prince 7-10 Books, Queen 12+ Books

3.. You don't have to choose your books in advance. If you do, you can change your list at any time during the year. Books can overlap with other challenges.

4.. Books can be in any format - paper, audio, ebooks...it all counts!

5.. You don't have to post a review, but I'm sure others would love to know about the books you are reading and may even want to add it to their reading lists.You can also join our group on Goodreads.

NOTE: If you don't have a blog and want to participate, that's fine. You don't have to have a blog, just post in the comments section as you finish books.

6. Comment below that you want to join the challenge. If you have a blog, please mention this contest and post a link to this page. ..

Historical Fiction Challenge 2012
2 members
I've gone reading challenge bananas!! I've wanted to do a Historical Fiction related challenge, howe...

Books we've read

View this group on Goodreads »

Best of Existings Tricky 2011

2011-12-30T05:00:00.000-08:00

Here's my annual "Best Of" according to me at least! Blogs that have meant the most, or received the biggest amount of feedback If you missed anything, here's your chance to catch up!

Why Vipassana Meditation Made It On My 2011 Intentions and Why I Left My Vipassana Experience Early
The first is in the top 10 of my most popular posts, so, I guess that makes it one of the best. These two are very honest experiences and I think that is why they are so popular. The desire for this experience, and then the outcome, really shaped me, and I believe it to be an important part of my journey.

The Unmistakable Touch of Grace: Embark on a Spiritual Journey

Clearly this was a year for me to explore my spirituality. I really love this post

Ode to My Grandma and Treasure Chest of Memories

My Grandma passed away this past Spring and this is my dedication to her.

What Your Oncologist Never Told You About Cancer and Let Your Ladies Hang Free: Why I Stopped Wearing a Bra and Cancer Tips For the Newly Diagnosed
These are all educational cancer blogs. Please share with your loved ones and spread the message that they do have options!!

My Personal Cancer Journey and Cancer Update and My Trip to the Hospital or Adventures of the Fluid Monster and The Fluid Monster Returns to the Hospital and Health Update and Tears of Gratitude; My Body is Healing

My personal cancer journey this year....

My Kripalu Spirit Junkie Adventure

The most beautiful experience. I met so many wonderful women, got in touch with Spirit, met my Mentor Gabby Bernstein, and I believe this experience got me through my hospital experience. Lifesaving and Lifechanging. I will be forever grateful.

For Those Who Leave Us Too Soon

For a young girl who died too soon...

Say Goodbye to the Bitch

My most personal post yet...

Staying Healthy and Balance This Holiday Season

One of my most popular posts, recently featured in the blog Yes and Yes.

Cancer Thriver: Jess from the Wellness Warrior

The first in what I hope will be a long running series. I already have four others lined up, so we'll go from there!

Any posts I missed? Thank you for reading Existing's Tricky, and if you haven't signed up to be a follower, please do so!

Best Music of 2011

2011-12-29T05:00:00.000-08:00

In reviewing my favorite music I listened to this year, I realized most of it was released in 2010. However, in the last month I've obsessively listened to the new Florence and the Machine, She & Him Christmas album and the new Tori Amos album. Release the Sunbird I got earlier this year, however the others I don't actually own yet. I do have them on hold at the library, and have been listening to You Tube clips. They are all artists, with the excepting of Adele, that I have other CD's for, and so I'm confident in these as well. So anyway, here's my "best of" list for 2011 (in no particular order).

I couldn't get good videos for all of them, but I put together an Amazon module with all the albums. I highly recommend checking them out!

What are your favorite albums of 2011?

Review: My 2011 Intentions

2011-12-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

Here are my 2011 Intentions:

I intend to create a daily practice of yoga, meditation and journaling
I intend to drink at least one Green Smoothie daily
I intend to do 35 minutes or more of cardio exercise at least 4 times a week, this includes dog walking, rebounder, etc.
I intend to focus on growing my blog this year, including number of followers, investing in SEO program, creating regular posts and updating the look
I intend to write and publish my first book
I intend to focus on my Spiritual practice, which could include taking classes at the Rime Buddhist Center, increasing my meditation practice, Spiritual reading, prayer, and creating my own Sacred Space.
I intend to start the year with a 21 Day Adventure Cleanse, and do mini-cleanses throughout the year
I intend to continue to build and grow my friendships and schedule at least one social outing each week
I intend to attend a Vipssanna meditation retreat as part of my healing and Spiritual growth
I intend to take a vacation this year, location TBA

So How Did I Do?

I started the year with a yoga practice, but after my water weight came on I no longer could do it. This is going on my 2012 goals. Journaling was hit or miss, and I meditated frequently, but not enough.
Green Smoothie--check!
Exercise has been on and off because of my condition as well
Been working on growing the blog, but didn't do many of the things I wanted to do. Will flip to 2012.
Book writing flipped to 2012
Definitlely did a lot of Spiritual work this year and will continue to grow next year.
Did the 21 day cleanse, twice actually.
Friendships--check!
You can read about my Vipssanna experience here.
I took at vacation to Portland, which you can read about here.

All in all not bad, most of it is continuing into 2012, but that's because several things are lifetime goals.

How Did You Do With Your 2011 Intentions?

2012 Reading Goals

2011-12-27T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've gone bananas and joined a TON of 2012 Reading Challenges! I even created three myself, and got hooked up with Goodreads. I used to read like crazy, AT LEAST one book a week, often more. This past year my brain has been foggy with the almost dying and whatnot. But now, I'm free and ready to get back into frequent reading. I'll be posting at the end of each month what I've read, links to reviews, etc. Here's my list of books to get me started in the New Year. Now, I don't truly believe I'll read all of these in January, however, when dealing with Libraries, you never know when something might come in, so I'm ordering more books then needed. It also gives me more choices because my mood will change throughout the month.

What are you reading right now? Have you read any of these books? Joined any challenges?

Inspiration Board

2011-12-21T14:35:00.000-08:00

Cancer Thriver: Cortney from Green Drink Diaries

2011-12-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

This week I had the opportunity to speak with Cortney of Green Drink Diaries. She is a holistic cancer survivor and she gave me permission to print her story. I think you'll be impressed.

How I Beat Cancer

3 months before my cancer diagnosis.

In October of 2008 I was diagnosed with Stage II Nodular Lymphocyte Predominant Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. After weeks of testing and the staging confirmed by PET/CAT scans and a bone marrow biopsy, my husband Kevin and I had to make a decision. Were we going to go with the oncologist’s recommendation of R-CHOP chemotherapy and radiation? There were so many unsettling factors. The type of Hodgkin’s I had was very rare and there were no conclusive studies on what type of conventional treatment was MOST effective. The chemotherapy that was suggested by my oncologist had many side effects, but the one I found completely unbearable was infertility.
On the same day we received my official diagnosis and were given our tour through the chemo room and the wig shop, Kevin and I came home feeling unsettled and bewildered. While I was lost in my thoughts of whether to freeze my eggs or agree to have embryos frozen, he began research on alternative cancer treatment. Neither one of us had any experience in the alternative cancer world. He began discovering other people who felt similarly as we did. They believed there had to be another way, a better way to treat cancer. We also found several survivors who treated or were treating naturally, such as Jerry Brunetti and Kris Carr.

Over the next few weeks, packages arrived at our door on a daily basis. Kevin began to read about the reasons that conventional medicine was not always the best way to approach treating cancer. He became more and more educated on the effectiveness of alternative cancer treatment. I had difficulty having faith in his new alternative cancer philosophy. How could this “natural” treatment be so effective, but yet doctors continue to treat almost exclusively with chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery? It must be because modern American medicine was superior to diet change and supplementation? I needed to educate myself on it. I focused on a book by Bill Henderson called “Cancer Free: Your Guide to Non-Toxic Healing” and in November began the protocol he lays out in his book:
1. Beta 3-D Glucan Immune Boosting Supplement
2. Raw Organic Vegan Diet, No Meat, No Sugar, No Processed Foods, No Cooked Food
3. Budwig Protocol (Cottage Cheese/Flaxseed Oil)
4. Vitamin C/ Green Tea Supplement
5. Barley Power Supplement
6. Dr. David Williams Daily Advantage Vitamins
7. HcG Urine Test to monitor progress

After many heated arguments and tears, I had finally agreed to give alternative cancer treatment a 3 month trial period. Our next step was to find an oncologist who supported us in our journey. After leaving the first oncologist, we found a holistic M.D. at first who knew of an oncologist, Dr. Stephen Szabo who she heard was more-open minded to patients trying alternative treatments. After one visit with him he confirmed that he believed I had “time to try alternative therapies” and agreed to monitor the cancer while I continued my nutritional protocol. It was shortly after this I began to notice the cancerous lymph node in my neck drastically reducing in size, almost to the point of non-detection after only a month on my new diet.
In January of 2009, I attended the 12 day detoxification and raw foods course at the Living Foods Institute here in Atlanta. It was there I was introduced to new ways to enjoy raw foods. I also received 7 colonics to detox my colon in order to allow proper assimilation of the cancer-fighting nutrients I was putting into my body. I did many other things to detox my body also, such as drinking Essiac Tea, reflexology, drinking Alkaline water, sweating in a dry heat sauna, and exercising on a Cellerciser rebounder. During this time I also kept my anxiety levels calm through prayer, reading biblical scripture, and reciting positive affirmations.
My January HcG Test showed improvement from my November score. I was set for another HcG test in March when I discovered I was pregnant. It was a scary and uncharted territory for us. My oncologist seemed confident and we worked together along with my OBGYN through the next few months of morning sickness and blood tests to make sure my body was handling the pregnancy well and the cancer wasn’t acting up.

Finally, on May 4th, 2009, Dr. Szabo gave us the surprising news that I was in “clinical” remission! He believed that CT/PET scans were NOT a superior way to monitor the form of cancer I had because of its indolent nature. Instead, I am monitored via bloodwork and physical examinations. Following several months of excellent health reports, I received “clinical” remission status. I went on to have an unmedicated and natural birth to Ruby-Claire Campbell on November 19^th2009.

As of this writing in October, 2011 I remain in clinical remission. I have chosen to address my cancer through lifestyle change. This is a lifelong commitment. My diet is not as extreme as it was in the beginning, but I still stay completely away from sugar, processed foods, and conventional foods. I eat a TON of nutrient-dense, organic vegetables: a big, colorful salad and 64 ounce veggie smoothie everyday. I rarely eat meat, but when I do, it is grass fed, free-range meat or wild-caught fish. I still drink green tea, take Vitamin C, and Dr. David Williams’ vitamin supplements each day. I eat the Cottage Cheese/ Flaxseed Oil mixture at least 4 days a week.

I think there is a place for conventional medical treatment and intervention/monitoring. For my husband and I, it was a PRAYERFUL decision to approach the cancer the way we did. We believe that God gave us a fully functioning, self-healing body that when brought back to its original state can fight off the malfunctioning cell growth of any form of cancer. It will be a journey to keep the cancer away, not a destination. That is how we hope Americans will begin to look at their health care.
For a more detailed version of this story, please click HERE.
My Series on Fighting Cancer with Alternative Therapies
Introduction
Part 1: A Day in the Life On My Alternative Cancer Protocol
Part 2: 5 Tips for Alternative Cancer Confidence
Part 3: You Need an Advocate to Support You!
Part 4: Facing the Critics of Alternative Cancer Treatment: Friends, Family and Forums Who Mean Well
Part 5: The Three Day “Eat For the Cure!”

30 Day Photography Challenge: Days 1-15

2011-12-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

Remember that photo challenge for December? Well here's a pic to jog your memory. I think you are technically supposed TAKE all the pictures yourself, but sadly that didn't happen. It's a silly diversion anyway, so I just had fun with it.

Free (or super cheap) things to do with friends

2011-12-14T03:00:00.000-08:00

I borrowed this from another website, sadly I didn't record which website it was when I saved it.

• Eat your brown bagged lunches from home in the parktogether (this is a good one to do with work friends).

• Start a Spending Fast Group Challenge. How much can you each save?This can be set up on a percentage basis (similar to how The Biggest LoserTV show does it since they all start at different weights).

• Get a thrift store tennis racquet and go to the public tennis court andhit some balls. Even if you have no idea how to play tennis it's fun to runaround and whack the balls.

• Do a clothing swap. Everyone rounds up all of their un-used andun-wanted items and trades. Everyone gets something new to them.

• Game night at one of your houses.

• Check out movies from the library and gather up at someone's house towatch. Variations on this classic saving money option is to theme it out.Horror/scary themed movies. 80's movies. Nicholas Cage movies... Bonus: home popped popcorn is super cheap.

• Get together and make crafts using supplies you all collectively alreadyown. Who can bring what and what can you make?

• Group bike ride. Everyone takes turns mapping out a route.

• Hike
• Volunteer together
• Start a book club. Check out the same book from the library.

• Go to your favorite book store and look at gossip magazines together.Bring tea bags from home and get cups of hot water from the coffee shop. Sipand look.

• Team up with a bud and be getting-out-of-debt supporters for each other.Bonus: you'll have someone to split appetizers with and cheer you along.

• Google "free things to do in (insert your city here)". Thereare probably a lot of things going on that you don't know about.

• Have a potluck. Just don't buy anything new for the ingredients. Onlyuse what you all already have in your kitchen. If you can only make a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich make a couple and cut them in 4's. There you go-finger foods! And really, who doesn't love PB&J? Variation (suggested by areader): Breakfast potluck!

• Do a group yard-sale
• Go to the public pool
• Do a picture Scavenger Hunt. Make lists and separate into smallergroups. The 1st group to take pictures of everything on the list wins braggingrights. Most people have cell phones with a cameras on them but if no one has adigital camera then do the honor system and take a mental snapsnot of the item.

• Camp!

• Pull an HGTV and re-arrange a room in each others houses
• Go to the city pound and look at the animals. Bonus: get to play withthe animals too if the staff allows it.

• Sit on a patio and ask each other questions you've never asked before.
1.) Why is Elmo red?
2.) Fav YouTube celeb?
3.) Would you want a whole army cloned to look like you?
4.) How many times do you look in the mirror a day?
5.) Internet dating: Yay or Nay?
6.) What do you want to name your children?
7.) Your house is on fire, 2 things you save (non-living)....
8.) If you had to do an extreme sport for a living, what sport would you do?
Also, there are lots of conversational games like "WouldYou Rather".

How My Epic Fails Became a Moment of ~ing-Spiration

2011-12-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

I consider myself to be a pretty excellent chef, especially when it comes to baked goods. However in the last few weeks I've had to throw away a failed attempt at baklava, rocky road fudge, and just last night two different types of cookies. Fortunately the third type turned out okay. Friday, I made strawberry muffins and I could already tell I've got another epic fail on my hands. So I did what I do best; I got creative. I had a vision for a loaf, I grabbed four bananas, smashed them a bit with a fork and then pulverized them with the mixer. I got them into a creamy mixture, then grabbed my Bolthouse Farms Mocha Cappuccino beverage and pour one cup in the mixture. Mix. After that I just started grabbing at the basics like sugar. I added coco and of course flour, baking soda, vanilla, salt. Once I felt I had a good base, I poured in Hazelnuts, then got out my giant Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate bar, broke off several pieces, and stirred those in as well. I poured into a loaf pan and told myself that no matter what happens, I still got skills. I have amazing pastas, chili's, soups that I've made, so maybe I'm just going through a slump. Epic Fails make me feel like shit, they are a waste of ingredients and money and I hate that things don't turn out. Big disappointment. So how's the loaf? .Pretty damn delicious if I do say so myself. Very rich, but tasty. Spirit saved gave me the confidence to dive back in. I took the rest of the weekend off, but now, I'm getting back into the kitchen. White Chocolate Cookies and Cream Fudge anyone?

My Spirit Guides

2011-12-12T04:00:00.000-08:00

This past week I've been going through old files on my computer and deleting/updating/organizing them to clear some space on my computer. Last year I took Reiki I and II, which you can read about in my post I'm A Reiki Gal Now. Anyway, during one of the meditations, I had this incredible experience where all my animal spirit guide came to visit me one by one. After the meditation I quickly wrote down who I saw, and later looked up what each animal represents. I had save the info, and found it here recently, thought I'd share. Do you know who your Spirit Guides are?

Cat (general)-- The Great Teacher of Magic and Mystery; thecat lives totally in the moment with a deep psychic and spiritual awareness.Independent and unpredictable, agile of body and mind, a free thinker thatmeets challenges by perceiving the unseen. (One cannot own a cat; the cat willgive and receive love only on its own terms) At home in the dark of the night it is a valuable ally when encounteringthe supernatural and facing your primal fears. As the cat’s energy fieldflows opposite that of humans it has the healing ability to neutralize yournegative energies. (The healing energycannot be taken from the cat, it is only given as a gift.) The cat teaches that the physical and spiritual worlds are not separate,but one. In ancient Egyptcats stood guard at the temple gates and throughout history cats have been seenas the protectors of the pathways to the sacred mysteries. (The Egyptiangoddess 'Bastet' takes the formof a cat. The Norse goddess 'Freyja' rides achariot pulled by two cats) Note the colors and characteristics of your cat for that shall bemirrored in your life and will help you to understand the mysteries thatyour cat will reveal. (The cat'skarmic sacrifice is being the victim of “kick the cat".) Cat Spirit often brings the warning of being the recipientof misdirected anger.

Horse -- Symbol of freedom and of the wind. No other animal has given Manthe freedom of mobility like the horse. The horse gives the promise ofspeed and adventure. The horse is the symbol of true power and this powershould not be used in a negative manner. Powerful and rebellious,hot blooded and hot headed, horse spirit has power within that is sometimeshard to control. Needing love and intimacy yet also feeling trapped byit. Leaving home early yet having a hard time belonging elsewhere. Veryself-interested yet its work benefits others. The horse shows manycontradictions in character.

Rabbit -- Receiving hidden teachings and intuitive messages. Active arounddawn and dusk, (the timeof the fairies and fauns), they are guides intothe mystical shadow world. (Rabbit is interpreted in differentways in different cultures. In China, it isone of the astrological animals and linked to good fortune and the moon. To theMayans, Rabbit was the scribe who kept the lunar calendar. In Native Americantradition, Rabbit is known as the "Fear Caller", due to it projectingits fear of those wishing to eat it, and thereby attracting the predators itfears.) Rabbit is known for its ability to procreate and fearful thoughtswill procreate (manifest) into what you fear. Movement by leaps,living by one’s own wits, not getting boxed into a corner. Take advantageof opportunities that may present themselves only for a brief moment. Examine the foods you eat and perhaps eat more of a vegetarian diet. (The Rabbit isa spirit animal that is extremely open to one on one communication and whenapproached as an equal it will show great wisdom and guidance.)

Dolphin -- [Do not confuse with the 'Porpoise'] -- Inner sounds that can create outer manifestations. Living in tunewith the patterns and rhythm of nature. Using the power of breathing as anemotional release of anger and pain. Swimming freely and going alongwith your feelings, [Contrary to its popular "Flipper" image, thedolphin can be aggressive and violent. Out of 48 harbor porpoises stranded onthe Welsh coast in 2004, 28 animals were found to have died from attacksby bottlenose dolphins.]

Snake (general) -- Universal symbol of the exploration of the mysteries of life. Because the snake represents the unveiling of the sacred mysteries manyrepressive belief systems have linked snake to evil ideas. (The legend ofSt. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland is one example of theserepressive systems using the snake as symbol of evil that had to beeradicated.) The snake is atotem which appears as protection from religious persecution. Throughouthistory the snake has been the subject of legends linking it to creation,fertility, transformation and sexuality. The snake is fire medicine, themedicine of transmutation and it is the symbol of transformation and healing. (The image ofthe snake is found on the "Caduceus", the symbol ofmedicine.) The snake must shed its old skin in order to survive, symbolizingdeath and rebirth. (The image of a snakeswallowing its own tail is a symbol of eternity) The shedding of the skin is also associated with astral travel and out ofbody experiences, thus in shedding your skin, the snake symbolicallyguides you along the path of transformation. Which is thetrue meaning of the meeting of the snake with Eve in the Garden of Eden*. Once shehad eaten the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, Eve thentransmuted the energy of wisdom in a symbolic shedding of her old skin, thusher newly discovered "nakedness". {*Some"Eden" scholars suggest that the snake depicted in the story wasactually 'Lilith' , the firstwife of Adam, who had rejected the domination of Adam and left Eden, butreturned to awaken Eve to the power within her.} The snake is cosmic consciousness, the ability to experience all thingswithout resistance, and the knowledge that all things are equal in creation. Itsignals a great transition in life through new opportunities and changes.Native American Totem Animal for "Scorpio"

Caterpillar -- Must evolve before assuming adulthood, shedding the old lifeto accept a new one, the spinner of the metamorphic thread. TheSpirit Keeper of the Sacred Smoke and guardian of the tobacco plant.

*and

Butterfly -- Thecoming of adulthood, transformation, the rebirth of the soul, too often a needto be noticed and stand out in a crowd. Symbol of Psyche, theGreek Goddess of the Soul. Life is short, enjoy the journey. Fleeting moments.Transformation. Internal and external change

The caterpillar develops into the butterfly through a process called metamorphosis. It comes from the Greek words, "meta", meaning beyond, and "morph", meaning form; to signify transformation or change in shape. Metamorphosis is a key element in Greek mythology. This ability to change shape or form is a major development in the stories of Arachne, Zeus, and Daphne. Almost all of the gods had the power of metamorphosis. Christians use the term “born again” to define the process. The spiritual symbolism of metamorphosis is quite obvious and easy to grasp. What is more difficult to grasp, in terms of the animal spirit meaning, is the emphasis on which stage you examine. The wonder of the end result as seen in the butterfly is the one most focused upon, but the true essence of the transformation lies within the cocoon of the transforming caterpillar. It is far too easy to be enchanted by the beauty of the butterfly and to ignore the lowly caterpillar. The true call to spiritual metamorphosis comes from the appearance of the caterpillar as spirit animal and the appearance of the butterfly as spirit animal is often a warning not to become seduced by the apparent beauty of the changes into forgetting the reason for undergoing the transformation. The attainment of the metamorphosis is not for the appearances of the physical world, but for the transubstantiation of the spiritual. If, after you have undergone a seeming transformation, the butterfly should appear as an animal messenger, it may be that you missed the true meaning and purpose of the experience.

Pegasus (The Winged Horse) -- Pegasus comes to us from Greek mythology. Hewas born of the blood of Medusa as she was beheaded by the hero Perseus.Pegasus was concerned with sacred places and guarding them. He is the inspirerof rising above difficulties and teaches the importance of having quick andagile wisdom, as well as humility and knowing one's boundaries. In moderntimes, Pegasus is seen as the symbol for the immortality of the soul, and asthe carrier and protector that guards the spirit in its journeys into theastral plane. Pegasus is the power of the creative spirit in all of us. Pegasusis the horse of the Muses and in the service of poets. He is the symbol ofinspiration, and of the beauty we bring to our life and the lives of others.Pegasus, calls you to create, in music, in poetry, in writing, in art and toshare your expressions of beauty.

Unicorn -- The ability to negate the effects of venom and poisons,the magick to make dreams become reality, connection to the spiritsof the forest with its fauns and fairies. The magick of the unicorn caneffect the weather. ( see: Whale/Narhwhal ) The legend of Zeus and the "horn of plenty" may be the origin of the myth of the Unicorn.

Fox -- The Fox is seen as a sacred animal throughout the world. The fox is the cunning and stealthymessenger of the gods and the magical guide to the world between time and spaceoften shape shifting on the journey,(sometimes into human form). The foxlives in the "In-between Time" on the edge of dusk and dawn and canguide the way into the Spiritual Realm. There are many speciesof fox, but they all share the cleverness and cunning from which comes theexpression, "sly as a fox." For the fox learning to beinvisible is an important skill in life. The fox shows how to develop thearts of camouflage, invisibility, and shape shifting. The fox teaches howto be unpredictable by mastering the ability of blending unseen into thesurroundings. A creature of the night it is imbued with supernaturalpowers and is a totem of healing of body, mind and spirit.

Owl -- The owl is ruler of the night and seerof souls. The owl is honored as the keeper of spirits who had passed from oneplane to another. Often myth indicates the owl accompanying a spirit to theunderworld; winging it's newly freed soul from the physical world into therealm of spirit. Bringer of wisdom, revealer of secrets and omens, intuitionand clairvoyance. Brings clarity and illumination to dreams, (Moonmagick). The “night eagle”, seeing and hearing that which others cannot. Be aware of omens and portents for the owl brings the power to extract secretsfrom out of the darkness. Native American Totem Animal for"Sagittarius". ('Lilith', who was the firstwife of Adam in the Garden of Eden and in Christian lore was said to bethe first witch, is often depicted as appearing in the form of a screechowl or with screech owls as familiars. The owl is also the familiar of goddess 'Athena')

Explore the Many Genres of Jane Austen Spinoffs 2012 Reading Challenge

2011-12-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

I've gone reading challenge bananas!! I've wanted to do a Jane Austen related challenge, however nothing has been posted yet. So I decided to create my own! So many books have spun-off from Jane Austen's stories. Some of them tell us Pride and Prejudice from a new perspecitive, some imagine what it would look like if certain changes had been made. Some are curious about the supporting characters such as Georgianna, Mr. Darcy's sister, or they've taken Jane's stories and placed a modern day twist on them. And then there is the paranormal branch. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters anyone?

So, here are the rules...

1. There are eight genres in this challenge. You need to complete one book from each genre.

2. The challenge runs from January 1, 2012 and ends December 31, 2012.

3. You don't have to choose your books in advance. If you do, you can change your list at any time during the year. Books can overlap with other challenges.

4. Books can be in any format - paper, audio, ebooks...it all counts!

5. You don't have to post a review, but I'm sure others would love to know about the books you are reading and may even want to add it to their reading lists.You can also join our group on Goodreads.

NOTE: If you don't have a blog and want to participate, that's fine. You don't have to have a blog, just post in the comments section as you finish books.

6. Comment below that you want to join the challenge. If you have a blog, please mention this contest and post a link to this page. ..

Variation Stories: An example of this would be "Darcy's Voyage" by Kara Louise. Essentially this category is for writers who have taken the original story, and changed it.
Sequel: An example of this would be books by Rebecca Ann Collins, books that follow the Darcy's or Knightly's or whomever after the original story ends.
Jane Austen as a Fictional Character:
Paranormal: An example of this would be "Jane and the Damned" by Janet Mullany. These are stories in which Jane Austen characters, or Jane herself, become or interact with vampires, sea monsters, etc.
Modern Adaptation: An example of this would be "Persuading Annie" by Melissa Nathan. Jane Austen's stories written in a modern time frame.
Mystery: A great series is the Mr. and Mrs. Darcy mysteries by Carrie Bebris.
Supporting Characters: These are books based on the supporting characters in the book such as Georgiana, Charlotte Lucas, etc. An example would be "Charlotte Collins" by Jennifer Becton
Books by Jane Austen: Many of you have become Austen fans through the movies, or maybe you are a die hard Pride and Prejudice fanatic. Read a novel by Jane: Emma, Pride and Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, Persuasion or Sense and Sensibility. You could even read one of the incomplete works, such as Lady Susan, to complete this challenge.

Good luck and have fun!!

                Explore the Many Genres of Jane Austen Spinoffs 2012 Reading Challenge's to-read book montage

                1 member
        So, here are the rules...

1. There are eight genres in this challenge. You need to complete one b...

Books we plan to read

View this group on Goodreads »

My Book List (subject to change)

Variation Story: TBA
Sequel: TBA
Jane Austen as a Fictional Character:TBA
Paranormal: Jane Bites Back by Michael Thomas Ford
Modern Adaptation: TBA
Mystery: Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrove Manner by Stephanie Barron
Supporting Characters: Mercy's Embrace by Laura Hile
Books by Jane: Persuasion

Dragons and Unicorns Fantasy Reading Challenge 2012

2011-12-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

I've gone reading challenge bananas!! This one came to mind today and I haven't seen any other currenty challenges that fit this criteria, so I decided, what the heck, I'll create my own! I've always loved fantasy, true fantasy. Though I enjoy urban fantasy, I long for the old fashioned stories of dragons and hero's on quests, and fairies. So here we are. Some examples of what to read would be The Terry Goodkind Sword of Truth series, early Patricia Briggs, before her switch to Urban Fantasy, Mercedes Lackey's Five Hundred Kingdoms series, etc.

So, here are the rules...

1. There are three levels to this challenge: Unicorn--4 books, Sorcerer--8 books and Dragon 12 books.

2. The challenge runs from January 1, 2012 and ends December 31, 2012.

3. You don't have to choose your books in advance. If you do, you can change your list at any time during the year. Books can overlap with other challenges.

4. Books can be in any format - paper, audio, ebooks...it all counts!

5. You don't have to post a review, but I'm sure others would love to know about the books you are reading and may even want to add it to their reading lists.You can also join our group on Goodreads.

NOTE: If you don't have a blog and want to participate, that's fine. You don't have to have a blog, just post in the comments section as you finish books.

6. Comment below that you want to join the challenge. If you have a blog, please mention this contest and post a link to this page. ..

Have fun!

               Dragons and Unicorns Fantasy Reading Challenge 2012's to-read book montage

               1 member
       I've gone reading challenge bananas!! This one came to mind today and I haven't seen any other curre...

Books we plan to read

View this group on Goodreads »

This is a tentative list, and subject to change, but here are my books for the challenge.

I'm going to go for the socerer level...

Pegasus by Robin McKinley
Steal the Dragon by Patricia Briggs
Firebird by Mercedes Lackey
Outlander by Diane Gabladon
Acorna by Anne McCaffrey
TBA
TBA
TBA

Heartwarming Animal Stories 2012 Reading Challenge

2011-12-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've gone reading challenge bananas!! This one came to mind today and I haven't seen any other currenty challenges that fit this criteria, so I decided, what the heck, I'll create my own! I've always loved animals and I enjoy reading inspiring stories concerning them. Some examples would be "Marley and Me", "Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World", "A Lion Call Christian", etc.

So, here are the rules...

1. We will be reading six books from this challenge, all non-fiction.

2. The challenge runs from January 1, 2012 and ends December 31, 2012.

3. You don't have to choose your books in advance. If you do, you can change your list at any time during the year. Books can overlap with other challenges.

4. Books can be in any format - paper, audio, ebooks...it all counts!

5. You don't have to post a review, but I'm sure others would love to know about the books you are reading and may even want to add it to their reading lists.

NOTE: If you don't have a blog and want to participate, that's fine. You don't have to have a blog, just post in the comments section as you finish books.

6. Comment below that you want to join the challenge. If you have a blog, please mention this contest and post a link to this page. ..

Have fun!

                  Heartwarming Animal Stories 2012 Reading Challenge's to-read book montage

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        This group is for those who sign up for the Heartwarming Animal Stories 2012 Reading Challenge

Books we plan to read

View this group on Goodreads »

Here are my six books, for now. They could change as the year goes by.

1.Oogy: A Dog Only a Family Could Love
2.Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World
3.Wesley the Owl: A Remarkable Love Story of an Owl and His Girl
4.A Humming Bird in My House: The Story of Squeak
5.A Lion Call Christian
6.Chosen by a Horse

Cancer Thriver: Jess from The Wellness Warrior

2011-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Meet Jessica, cancer thriver. This is the first of I hope several posts talking with people who have healed, or are in the process of healing themselves through holistic methods. A little about Jess from her blog:

Just over three years ago I was diagnosed with a very aggressive, rare form of cancer called Epithelioid Sarcoma, in my left hand and arm. After having a high dose of chemo pumped through my arm following scans showed I was clear of cancer. Little did I know it would come back, not even a year after going into remission. After being told by the scary men in white coats that my only real chance of long-term survival would be to have my arm amputated at the shoulder I decided to take matters into my own hands (excuse the pun). I politely refused their offers of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation and began searching for natural, alternative cancer treatments. The way I saw it I had two choices. I could rely on the slash, poison and burn method offered to me by the medical profession and become stuck in the ‘cancer patient’ category for who knows how long, or I could take responsibility for my illness and bring my body to optimum health so that it can heal itself. For me it was an easy decision. Chemo and radiation do not have great success on the type of cancer I have, and there is no way I’m going to let them cut my arm off. Being told you have cancer is a massive shock and it is incredibly difficult at times, but it is also a huge wake up call. As tough as it is, dealing with a serious illness gives you the unique opportunity to make the most of the here and now. As someone very wise once said to me, “Cancer is a gift wrapped in a shitty package.” The only way to get through it is to keep smiling and take one day at a time.

I had the opportunity to ask Jessica some questions regarding her journey. I found her answers to be extremely insightful. I highly recommend following her journey at her blog The Wellness Warrior.

1) I understand this is your second time with cancer; the first you followed the traditional methods. How did you feel when the cancer returned, and what made you decide to explore options outside of chemo? Most people don't even realize they have any, so how did you discover holistic healing?

When I found out that my cancer had returned I was upset, but part of me was expecting it. Between my two diagnosis, I had done so much research into cancer and healing and I knew that I hadn't done what was needed to really rid my body of cancer. When my doctors told me that my only options were amputation, chemo and radiation (none of which were going to cure me) I knew I had to find another way. I read books, researched on the internet, watched DVDs and spoke to other cancer survivors to try and find what would be the best plan of action for me.

2) How did you choose the Gerson therapy over everything else out there? How do you feel it is working for you?

Gerson Therapy looked like it was the hardest to follow and the most strict, but it also made the most sense to me. Plus, it had over 60 years of success stories, which made me feel comfortable. In my opinion, it is the most powerful healing modality we have available to us. I was told that I have an "incurable" disease, but will Gerson I am curing myself.

3) How did you family and friends respond to your choice to go the alternative route?

They were just as enthusiastic about it as I was. We were all in this together, we all did the research, and so we were all on the same page. It has definitely made the whole journey a lot easier.

4) Did you work with a regular Oncologist or some form of holistic doctor? How do you feel you were treated?

I haven't worked with a conventional medical team since I said "thanks, but no thanks" to their offers of amputation, chemo and radiation. They weren't very happy with the route I chose instead, which I wasn't surprised about. I now only work with my Gerson doctor in Mexico and a integrative doctor here.

5) What books would you recommend for the newly diagnosed?

Healing The Gerson Way by Charlotte Gerson

A Time To Heal by Beata Bishop

You Can Conquer Cancer by Ian Gawler

6)Any other tips for newly diagnosed?

Educate yourself. Read books, watch DVDs, get on the internet. Don't give away your power. You know your body better than anyone, and once you start researching, you will discover the best treatment plan for you. There are always more options than what your doctor will lead you to believe, and you always have more time to find them than what your doctor will tell you.

7) What is your status today? How are you feeling?

I feel great! My tumours are visibly going away and I have never felt better.

8) How are things now that you are your Mom are going through this together?

Things have been difficult financially, and we've had to adjust to the fact that we're now doing Gerson for three years instead of two, but we have so much faith in the body's ability to heal itself that everything has been pretty good. It was interesting to see the difference in our reactions from when I was first diagnosed to when Mum was. The fear and uncertainty just wasn't there this time around.

9) You have a boyfriend, did you meet before of after cancer? How does he handle all this; you have a pretty stringent schedule.

I have known my boyfriend for almost 7 years, but we have only been a couple for three years. We started dating between my two diagnoses, and the second one was about a year into our relationship. He handles it all really well. He is understanding, supportive and deserves a medal for putting up with all of my mood swings!

10) What inspired you to start blogging about your experience?

I needed something to do to keep me sane. I was no longer working, and I missed writing every day, so I started the blog as a creative outlet and also to share what I was doing with my friends and family. When other people started showing their interest in my journey, that's when I realised that there is a thirst for empowered health information.

Diary of a Gerson Person: A day (every day) in the life

Because my winding down day is so close, I wanted to share what every day of the Gerson Therapy has been like so far. This is pretty much how my days have played out for the past 18 months.
6am: My alarm wakes me up. It’s one of those retro battery operated ones with the bells on top, so it scares the crap out of me every morning. Probably not the most peaceful way to start the day, but I use it because it’s not good to sleep with a digital alarm beside your head, and also it doesn’t have a snooze function. Once I’m up I walk bleary eyed to the bathroom, wash my face and roll out my yoga mat and towels for my first coffee enema of the day. I always read something inspiring while I’m doing my enema, to get me into a good frame of mind for the day. At the moment it’s The Greatness Guide Book 2 by Robin Sharma for the second time.
6.30am: Enema done! Now it’s time for five minutes of dry body brushing before jumping in the shower. I make sure I shower before the rest of the house wakes up and starts turning on taps. If there is water running anywhere else in the house while I’m in the shower I will get scorched.
6.45am: I walk upstairs and into the meditation room for half an hour of Zen time, saying good morning and giving my little pug girl Edie a bum scratch on my way.
7.15am: Dad’s finished preparing breakfast, so I sit down at the table to a glass of fresh orange juice (juice #1) and rolled oats with raw honey, sultanas, kiwi fruit and stewed apple. Every. Single. Morning. Lucky I love oats. Even after 18 months of this, it’s still my favourite meal.
7.45am: Dad’s been busy in the kitchen all morning, so he’s already washed and laid out all of the produce for our daily juices. To say thank you, I make him a big green smoothie while he fires up the Norwalk and starts making the first green juices (juice #2) for the day for mum and I.
8am: I drink my green juice before heading down to my room/office to start work for the day. I check my emails, upload the day’s blog, prepare the newsletter, post blasts to Facebook and Twitter, and then answer whatever emails and blog comments I’ve received overnight.
9am: Go back upstairs to drink my carrot and apple juice (juice #3) and then another carrot and apple juice (juice #4). Once that’s done, it’s back down to the computer to write blog posts, write book, or speak with clients.
10am: Make and drink juice #5 – plain carrot. Then it’s time for the second enema for the day.
11am: Make and drink juice #6 – green. Once I’ve finished cleaning the juicer I help Mum prepare lunch. She does the salad, potatoes and pumpkin while I chop the veggies for the hot pot. After that we go and lie outside to soak up some vitamin D and get 15-20 minutes of sun.
12noon: Drink juice #7 – carrot and apple. Turn the TV on to watch Ellen dancing through her studio audience – my absolute favourite part of Gerson Therapy has been being able to watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show every day while we eat lunch. We sit down to Hippocrates Soup, a big plate of salad with roast pumpkin, a baked potato and some cooked veggies.
1pm: Make and drink green juice (juice #8). Go back downstairs to answer emails and do more writing.
2pm: Drink carrot juice (juice #9). Enema time again! Roll out the yoga mat for enema number three.
3pm: Make and drink another carrot juice (juice #10). Sit back in front of the computer to do more work – scold myself for allowing Facebook to suck away so much time that before I know it an hour’s gone past and I’m looking through a stranger’s photo album with absolutely no recollection of how I ended up there.
4pm: Make and drink a carrot and apple juice (juice #11). Either take Edie for a walk, do yoga or jump on the mini trampoline.
5pm: Drink another carrot and apple juice (juice #12). I usually have a client session now, so I chat to them or I do more writing, or I meditate.
6pm: Finally, last juice for the day! I make and drink a green juice (juice #13). Then it’s back downstairs, roll out the mat again and do my fourth enema for the day.
7pm: Say hello to Tallon who is now home and usually knocks on the bathroom door while I’m doing my enema (even though/because he knows I hate it). Chat to him for a bit before we are called upstairs for dinner.
7.15pm: We all sit down for family dinner around the table (facing the TV). Again we have Hippocrates Soup, a big plate of salad, a baked potato and some cooked veggies. Dad and Tallon add meat. Edie is in the background whimpering, scratching at our legs for more food, or perched at her own chair at the table.
8.30pm: After clean up is done we make peppermint teas and all go in different directions of the house. Tallon and I either watch TV or lie in bed and read. We turn all of the lights out and just have lamps and Himalayan Salt lamps on to prepare for sleep time.
10pm: I’m asleep, or willing myself to be asleep so that I get my standard eight hours.
Even though my mum is also on Gerson Therapy for her breast cancer, her days looks a little different to mine. Before she started Gerson, she was my carer and now she still manages to fit in the making of soup, boiling coffee for enemas and doing our mammoth grocery shops. Luckily my dad now stays home most mornings to help her out. I’m planning on posting a day in her life soon to give you an idea of what her role involves.

Isn't she amazing? Thank you Jessica for taking time to talk to me. Good luck on your continued healing! Check out Jessica at her site The Wellness Warrior.

Love Ending

2011-12-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Another poem I found while cleaning out files...

Love Ending

We embrace

the chasm between us runs deep

our kisses, chalky

taste of love ending

I reach for your hand

you flinch as a lock of my hair

brushes against your cheek

scarcity in lovemaking

sighs love ending

~Shanna Sandmoen

Untitled Cancer Poem

2011-12-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

I found this poem I wrote about three years ago while clearing out some files. I've come a long way.

Untitled Cancer Poem

I close my eyes, block outsounds, twittering,

creaking around my eardrum

Progression, spreading,tumors, cancer

I envision myself in alavender dress, kitten heels,

The necklace from my lover

resting gently on mycollarbone,

My 10 year high schoolreunion.

Cancer, spreading, timerunning out,

A smile dances on my face,my furry mutt

In his graduation cap,photo imprinted on my mind

Kleenex after Kleenex

I wonder if they compost?

How long will it take formy body to break down,

Faster than the Kleenex?

I’m dying and all I canthink about is my

Dad hasn’t fixed the gateon my fence, or

The humidifier on my piano

Cancer, neck, chest,lungs, liver,

Pressing against my spine

Crawling down my hip bone

I wonder who will fly infor the reunion

Who got married, had kids,became a

Doctor, lawyer, architect,musician,

Who died…

I need to get that gatefixed.

~Shanna Sandmoen

Say Goodbye to the Bitch

2011-12-07T19:30:00.001-08:00

This past summer I went through one of the toughest periods I've ever experienced. I spent a week in the hospital, fought not to go into Hospice, and had to work my little butt off to, well, NOT DIE. To the outer eye, I remained fairly positive throughout. There are those, that I hurt during this period, and for that I am truly sorry. I think that I had been in a poor place for awhile, ever since my failed Portland trip, and everything just went to hell in a hand basket after that.

The hospital, not a fun place. What most people don't realize is that I actually spent a day and a half there, then totally flipped out on the nurses and threatened homicidal action if they didn't take the IV out of my hand and let me go. Unfortunately, two days later my symptoms were much worse, and in the middle of the night I had a cryfest on the sofa with my Dad where he insisted I go back to the hospital. I KNEW it was the right choice, but emotionally I didn't know that I could survive it. I really had to dig deep for that one. I attribute my recent Spirit Junkie Adventure to keeping me at least partially sane and alive during that week that I spent in the hospital. You don't sleep in the hospital. Every four hours they wake you up to check your vitals, which since you are on an IV drip that makes you pee, you are up every 30-45 minutes anyway. So exhaustion sets in which always makes me cranky. There is an IV sticking out of your arm, you have to take meds, every morning at flippin' 5am they come in for a blood test. Who thought that was a good time? Breakfast starts at 7am, so, you're up! The food is terrible and you have to rely on others to provide something better. I did get a fairly swank room, which helped tremendously. You get daily visits from doctors, nurses, the people who run tests on you, and along with that comes the speech. They let me know I only have a few weeks to live, I really should look into hospice, do I want to be revived if I stop breathing or go into a coma. DAILY BY MULTIPLE PEOPLE. Now, over the years I've learned to hear "blah, blah, blah", but even I after awhile have a hard time not taking at least some of that bullshit in. And when you are tired, and you just shit on yourself because you couldn't roll to the bathroom in time....well...it gets to you.

The best moments were visits from friends. You have no idea how much that meant to me, and a surprise visit from an old high school chum....I am so incredibly moved. I have am incredibly grateful. After my release, I had some friends come up from St. Louis, and really, I just wasn't ready. I was tired and confused and having nightmares from the hospital and I said some pretty vicious things, which I didn't even remember the next morning. I know I have other people that I was rude to, that I want to send out apologies for, and if I consciously know I was a bitch, I will contact you personally. I'm sure there are others that I didn't even realize I treated poorly.

At the end of October my Dad and I visited the Harry Potter Theme Park, one of my wishlist items. I realized then how short I was, impatient, rude. I also realized that although I surpassed my "few weeks" mark by months, I still needed to improve. The fact that I had to be wheeled around the entire trip, through the airport, the theme park, and that I was given a handicap parking pass by my doctor prior, well, it really hit me I needed to get over my shit and heal. So when I returned from vacation, I did a lot of soul searching, and I started on green smoothies, coffee enemas, and detox baths. Within days I had more energy and clarity. I improved my diet, I started to be able to move around better. I was able to do things around the house myself. My attitude changed and I became peaceful and happy. My mind became clear and suddenly I was a writing fool! I couldn't get the ideas out of my head fast enough. I had energy to burn. I started a new supplement plan. I turned it around and life has been so beautiful since.

This month there will be cookies, but sticking with the smoothies and enemas and supplements to help balance out the holiday goodies. I'm throwing a Holiday Bash and thinking of applying for a part time job at the new Cafe Gratitude after the first of the year. I've also starting seriously working on my book, been reading again, and plan on hitting up a knitting store after the 1st and getting started on a project. I also have plans to visit New York City at the end of April. I am thrilled to say goodbye to misery and the bitch, and grab a hold of my Spirit Junkie lessons and focus on love and gratitude and forgiveness. And of course, healing my body.

To all my supporters, I love you dearly and I thank you for standing by me through the good, and the bad times.

Shanna

31 Things: #14 Study a Course in Miracles and Attend a Workshop

2011-12-07T04:00:00.000-08:00

"Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. They are performed by those who temporarily have more for those who temporarily have less"

"Love will immediately enter into any mind that truly wants it."

"When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself ... for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself."

"What is healing but the removal of all that stands in the way of knowledge"

"Heaven is not a place or a condition. It is merely an awareness of perfect oneness"

"Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world"

"Let forgiveness be the substitute for fear. This is the only rule for happy dreams"

One of my goals is to study the Course in Miracles. This past Spring my Mother and I both invested in the book, a massive volume that contains quotes, 365 lessons, a teachers guide, and little extra guidebook summary at the end. This book came out originally in the 70's and it's teachings have spread across the world. The verbage used is Christian, but it is NOT a Christian book. You can replace any mention of God with Universe, Buddha, Goddess, whatever floats your boat. It is the word of Jesus, and the general lesson is everything is love and fear is not real. Simple, but we humans have a way of complicating things. So the quotes and lessons give us something to grab onto. There are groups all over the world that get together and discuss the lessons, as it is a long complex work. We attend a group at Unity Village; however they were just getting ready to wrap for the summer, so we probably made 4-5 visits before they took their break. The meetings we did go to were extremely inspiring. You had "recovering Catholics", a former Baptist minister; we also had some guests that were from India one night that had come to Unity for a special event. I really enjoyed it and hope to go back at some point. The group has restarted and my Mom goes to the Tuesday mid-morning group. They also have an evening one later in the week. There is also an online group at Her Future that I plan on joining. One of my goals for the new year is to restart the lessons and start really going through it. Lessons that really touch me will be blogged about.

So, this may be ongoing, but as I have done what my original goal is, I'm checking it off the list! Check out my 31 Things: Where I'm At So Far post from November to see the rest of the list.

If you are doing this project, how is it going for you?

The Cancer Journey: A Review

2011-12-06T04:00:00.001-08:00

The Cancer Journey is a guidebook written by Polly Noble; a 30 year old who has been through the cancer process twice. The first time she followed the conventional methods, but this time she decided to heal herself. She's been featured in several prominent magazines, radio programs, teaches classes, etc. Recently, she published her first print book, available on her website which you can reach here.

The book is broken into 12 Chapters, covering anything from dealing with doctors, taking care of your emotional needs, meditation techniques, Reiki, creative outlets, detailed info on cancer itself, information on juicing and the raw food diet, and tips on replacing your household items with toxic free items. She also has information for supporters of cancer patients.

I found this book to be very informative for someone just learning about holistic cancer health. Most of the information provided I personally knew, but I did pick up some tidbits. It's written very simplistically; I highly recommend this for the newly diagnosed. It will walk you through all the steps to healing yourself and understand your cancer. Overall, buy this book. Part of the proceeds go to charity, which is always nice.

Have you Read Polly's book?

A Tribute to Cafe Gratitude

2011-12-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Terces Engelhart, owner of Café Gratitude, just posted the following announcement on her Facebook page announcing the closure/sale of all Northern California Café Gratitudes locations. According to Englehart, some "aggressive lawsuits" from former employees brought her to the decision to shutter her vegan/cult restaurants.
Engelhart writes:

With great sadness we are announcing the upcoming closing/sale of all Northern California Café Gratitudes.A series of aggressive lawsuits has brought us to this unfortunate choice. Although we believe that we have done nothing wrong and our policies are completely legal, it will cost us too much money to defend them in court. Despite telling the attorneys that brought the lawsuits that the current structure and resources of Café Gratitude are insufficient to sustain and defend our community, they have refused to give up and are forcing us to close.
We appreciate the loyalty of our employees and customers over these past 8 years and are grateful for having had the opportunity to serve each of you. We were happy to tolerate low margins and sustain ourselves on the transformation and personal growth of our people, while providing local organic vegan food to our community in an atmosphere of unconditional love. That commitment is under attack and we are not able to weather this storm.
This process will take a few months so please keep coming in and let's celebrate our 8 years of success together, we are grateful for you!
We have come to realize that it isn’t how we serve that is most important but rather that we serve.
Our mission will survive this, as love cannot be threatened.
Thank you and love to you all,
Matthew and Terces Engelhart on behalf of Café Gratitude, LLC

The lawsuits in question stem from former Gratitude employees who left the restaurant with a bad taste in their mouths, so to speak. East Bay Express published a 2009 article that claimed, among other things, employees were fired for not attending Landmark Forum classes.

What outsiders may not know is that the culture at Café Gratitude is closely interwoven with a self-help philosophy of personal transformation called the Landmark Forum. Café Gratitude's founders say the classes and seminars, which employees are highly encouraged to take, empower people, create a better work environment, and help change lives. Yet some employees say the curriculum fosters an uncomfortable environment in which their personal beliefs are compromised. One former employee says she was fired for refusing to attend a Landmark seminar, and it's unclear whether the company's practice of requiring managers to attend and pay for half of the $500 seminar is legal."It is definitely a challenge for those people to stay comfortable saying no," admitted Paddy Smith, general manager of the Berkeley Café Gratitude. Although Smith says she was initially "offended" by the invitation to attend one of the seminars, she eventually signed up and found it to be a "life-changing" experience. "I learned how to be empowered and creative, get the results I want," she said. At Café Gratitude, she added, Landmark's teachings manifest themselves in the form of better communication, honesty, openness, and a no-gossip policy, and are so ingrained into company culture that she has a hard time differentiating between the two. In fact, Café Gratitude wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Landmark.

In 2011, former employee Sarah Stevens filed suit claiming "that in her time working at various CafGraf locations, she was deprived of legally-mandated breaks, and received only a fraction of the tips she rightfully earned." Via a statement from her legal team, Kumin Sommers LLP:

In addition to not receiving her rest and meal periods, Stevens alleges that she is required to participate in an unreasonable and uncustomary tip pooling scheme that leaves her with a very small percentage of the tips she earns as a server. Specifically, Stevens alleges that after tipping out 20% of her daily tips to the “central kitchen” — an offsite kitchen on 14th street — Stevens must then split the remaining 80% of her tips equally with all of the Café Gratitude staff, including the “shift leaders” and retail employees.

"For every illegal or disreputable thing you hear there are half a dozen or more former employees who learned to follow their dreams (and still are rocking it). As well for every one 'bad' [comment] there are HUNDREDS of happy customers whose lives were changed for the better and some profoundly!! I know this personally as I have been told this and thanked hundreds of times by the people I was serving." — Former Café Gratitude server Zachar Sollars regarding yesterday's post about the possible closure of the raw/vegan chain, and the labor lawsuits dogging them. He calls the restaurant a "school of transformation for its servers."

Terces Engelhart made a new plea to supporters today, via Facebook, that anyone who'd like to help the company in their hour of need should purchase some of their retail items, or sign up for one of these workshops.

The holidays are coming and many of our retail items are wonderful holiday presents. Our Abounding River board game is a meaningful gift for family and friends, and it is the beginning of the Gratitude Movement. ... If you have participated in any of our workshops, please take what you learned, that had value to you, and give it away! If not, come join one of our upcoming workshops, they are still offered on a pay it forward basis.

As for when Café Gratitude will close, Engelhart encourages fans to keep coming in for the next few months as they figure things out. Sommers speculates that several locations haven't been profitable at all, including their Healdsburg location, and that these will be let go while others may go to friendly buyers who will continue to do business with the Gratitude farm and food-prep operations. As for the Los Angeles location, which is somewhat of a celebrity hot-spot, that was sold to family members several years ago and remains a separate entity.

There's bound to be more bad press stemming from all this, if not more lawsuits, so in the spirit of generosity we'll leave off with Terces's own words. "Be kind, offer forgiveness, acknowledge one another, take responsibility, be generous, know you will always be provided for and restore trust in all of your relationships. We continue to keep our hearts open and to be filled with gratitude for everything."
Update: Matthew Engelhart responds to the lawsuits calling them "legalized extortion." Also, this NYT piece from July bears noting — the Los Angeles location is said to bring in about $4 million a year in revenue, and is owned by the children of the Engelharts.

Café Gratitude owners Matthew and Terces Engelhart will say only "we believe that we have done nothing wrong and our policies are completely legal, it will cost us too much money to defend them in court." So, that kind of points to the labor lawsuits. In any event, in signing off after eight years in business, they say, "Our mission will survive this, as love cannot be threatened."

I am completely in awe of this. It saddens me that such beautiful people have to go through this. My friend Natalie is a Cafe Gratitude junkie and has brought Mathew and Terces to Kansas City several summers in a row to teach their seminars. The first was the Abounding River Workshop, which they have a workbook you can purchase. It's a 42 day program, that my Mom and I did together. I found it extremely inspiring. The Kindred Spirits really got to me, and when I purchased the amazing book, I cried reading it. In fact, I posted about it here. They also had a workshop on Sacred Commerce, which is their business philosophy. We don't yet have a restaurant, and yet over the last few years I've made so many friends from the Cafe Gratitude experience. An entire community has developed, in fact, enough money was raised that we will have our own restaurant branch in February. I find the timing to be a bit ironic, and hope that the closures do not go through. However, we will be an official affiliate. My intention is to apply for something part time. I really want to start doing a little something to support myself this coming year, and I think its a job I would love and could handle. Plus, I know all the owners. I just want to say that no matter what happens, I believe the community they created will still hold strong. Their message of love and gratitude is too strong to be crushed by a lawsuit. I fully intend to continue to support this amazing company.

Check out Cafe Gratitude Kansas City

Main Cafe Gratitude Site

Jason Mraz Singing at Cafe Gratitude

The Raw Food World's Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes Go to Cafe Gratitude

Sunday Cooking Fiesta

2011-12-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

I've had a bit of a laid back weekend. I've gotten a lot done, but mostly in PJ's. I am determined to shower and get out and run an errand or two today though. So far today I've made a quiche, cookies, and now 5 layer dip. I had intended to make up several pasta recipes, however I think I'm going to take a short break from pasta the next few days. So, I still needed to use up some ingredients. I had a pie crust left over from thanksgiving and some eggs. I wanted to use up some of the unusual cheeses I bought for a mac-n-cheese recipe earlier in the week. I also had basil and some tomatoes, so I mixed it all together and wall-la, quiche.

I also made a Chocolate Cake last night; good but not dark enough for me

And just now I made 5-Layer Dip w/ refried beans, guacamole, tomatoes, black olives, and cheddar cheese

And Ranger Cookies...

These were quite the experience, as I didn't have half the ingredients and had to get fairly creative. I'm going to share the original recipe and show you all the substitutions I made. They really did turn out pretty well...rich...I think I'll same them for my Holiday Bash on the 17th.

Ranger Cookies~Vegan & GlutenFree

1/2 cup cashew butter (I don't have cashew butter so I used almond, and may have one overboard)
1/2 cup vegan margarine (Out of butter so used olive oil)
1 1/2 cups granulated organic sugar (out of sugar, used Coconut Secret coconut sugar)
3 tbsp flaxseed meal mixed with 6 tbsp water
1 tbsp fresh squeezed orange juice
1/2 tsp orange zest (didn't have this)
1 cup sweet white sorghum flour (I was out of flour, so I used oat flour for all the flour)
3/4 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup potato starch
1/4 cup tapioca starch
1/2 cup dried flaked coconut (out of coconut)
1 tsp xanthan gum (nope)
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup sliced almonds (added walnuts as well as I didn't have enough almonds
1 cup chocolate chips (definitely added to this)

I also had to add some grahahm cracker crumbs because it wasn't thick enough. I let the batter sit in the fridge a couple of hours to firm up, worked well. Baked for 15 minutes because slightly soft still.

Preheat oven to 375°F and lightly grease 2-3 cookie sheets.

Cream together cashew butter, margarine and sugar until smooth. Add inprepared flaxseed meal, orange juice and orange zest.

In separate bowl, combine sorghum flour, brown rice flour, potato starch,tapioca starch, flaked coconut, xanthan gum and baking powder.

Stir dry ingredients gradually into wet ingredients and then fold in slicedalmonds and chocolate chips.

Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto prepared cookie sheet, leaving about 2inches between each cookie. Press down very lightly with fork to slightlyflatten.

Bake for 10-12 minutes in preheated oven (the lesstime, the softer the cookies will be). Be sure to use a metal spatula to removecookies from cookie sheet while still warm and transfer to wire cooling rack.Let cool completely before enjoying

What Have You Been Making?

Staying Healthy and Balanced This Holiday Season

2011-12-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

Holiday time can be very stressful, especially for those with lots of friends and family. There's all the baking, the party making, sending out cards, decorations, charity events, etc. Here are some tips to keep healthy and maybe chillax a bit and enjoy the season.

Green Smoothies: the fastest and easiest way to keep up your health and balance your diet during this time is to incorporate daily smoothies. Use a variety of greens and fruit, maybe even add some protein or superfood powders. Drink at least one quart daily, preferably upon waking, to get you going for the day.
Allegro Wellness Teas: these teas are fantastic and come in fun flavors such as "Queen Bee Balance", "Peaceful Slumber", and "Everyday Amazing. The teas usually combine various teas such as green, red, white, or yerba mate. They have various herbs and are delicious and will give you that pick up, or relax you, depending on your needs.
Meditate: Take at least 15 minutes out to just sit quietly, and enjoy the peace. Your mind will love you for it.
Cookie party: Instead of slaving for hours baking your holiday goods, invite some friends over, set them up as sous chefs, and have fun with it. Then give away as much as possible.
Healthy meals: Trying to find healthy, simple meals. There are a ton of vegan chili's and soups that serve 8-10. If you are single, cook it all, then freeze half or more for later. Check out VegWeb for recipes. This is easy and will keep you in food for quite awhile.
Dance to the Music: Put on your favorite Christmas music and boogie down in your living room. Just let loose and let the energy flow!
Love Letter: Write yourself a love letter. List all your amazing talents and post it somewhere you can read to remind yourself of your specialness when you get stressed.
Watch Hallmark Christmas Movies: Hallmark is running Christmas movies pretty much 24/7 until the New Year; some of them are quite entertaining. Take some time to relax, make some popcorn, and enjoy the holiday spirit.
Gratitude: Take time each day to come up with a least 5 gratitudes. It will put you in a positive mood. Anytime you get stressed throughout the day, take a minute, meditate, and do your gratitudes.
Drive around and see the lights: Get some hot chocolate, some friends, hubby, your dog, and check out all the neighborhood lights. Put some Christmas music in the CD drive, and make sure you bundle up in case you want to get out and look at anything closer.

What Have Your Been Doing to Keep Healthy and Sane During the Holidays?

Kate Bush: The Dreaming

2011-12-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

My favorite song from my favorite album of her's. She is incredibly weird, but also very talented.

Do You Listen to Kate Bush?